Trying Not to Be Numbed Out and Failing

There is a part of me that wants me to "do something". There is a section of my brain that is saying "chill".  I can't handle the outrage of the day and the cruelty of humans while I'm fighting off this cold I caught last week.

The days are piling up but this unhappy camper needs to step back and just be a rank and file human being. More rank cuz I've been hacking up a bunch of dis-comfortable internal matter.

When I was a kid, I did the number about how old I'd be at this time. I hoped for flying cars. Weekend trips to Mars. Walking through the wonders of a hydroponic city.

I read a lot of SciFi when I was a kid. I was ready. I knew the future was gonna be great.

Here I am. I have access to primitive tri-corders (smartphones and tablets) I have a global communications network at my finger tips. I have friends and acquaintances on three continents.

Yet a hate filled foolish man make makes a movie whose trailer is on YouTube which is picked up by Egyptian television and people who had nothing to do with the damn thing are dead.

The conflicts of religion, free speech, intolerance and ignorance come knocking on my door. Maybe it is good that I am hacking up dis-comfortable internal matter. Keeps me from adding to the misery.

Numbing Through Literature

I've been watching clips of Jane Austen movies. I don't know why, not really a big fan of Austen's work. I tried reading it but I don't have the patience to step into that very restrictive world. The BBC versions are more accessible to me.

But here is the thing. That world had everything laid out. What you could do, what you could say, how to dress and how you should live. It was self-imposed programmed living.

There were rebels. There was a great deal of hypocrisy. In no way, shape of form would I advocate a returned to such structured living.

Yet I watch clips from the BBC series and movies. I numb out on just how daffy we are acting today. There is a kind of peace in it. A false peace, but sometimes you need a resting spot. A cave that acts as a portal to another world.

Besides, I've seen all the Justice League of America. Trying to develop a taste for Richard Diamond and Boston Blackie. The Naked City rocks but I got to pace myself on that one; excellent writing and storytelling.  The episode I saw was so good it made me feel inferior.

Then again, it might have been the cold medicine.

I have to come out of it. Get back into my flow and do some good. Or at least do no harm.