Kathleen Sebelius on Preventative Health Care Services - BlogHer 2013

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius spoke at the BlogHer 2013 HealthMinder Day Keynote session.

In this clip, Ms. Sebelius talks about some of the preventative services available to women under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act; often referred to as Obamacare.






Some of those services are:

An annual well-woman preventive care visit for adult women.

Contraception and contraceptive counseling: Women with reproductive capacity have access to all Food and Drug Administration-approved contraceptive methods, sterilization procedures, and patient education and counseling, as prescribed by a health care provider.

STI counseling: Sexually active women have access to annual counseling on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Gestational diabetes screening: This screening is for women 24 to 28 weeks pregnant, and those at high risk of developing gestational diabetes.

Breastfeeding support, supplies, and counseling: Pregnant and postpartum women have access to comprehensive lactation support and counseling from trained providers, as well as breastfeeding equipment.

For more information visit the HHS Fact Sheet about women's preventative health services.

This is one of many videos that I have recorded during the BlogHer 2013 conference. I will be uploading more clips of Secretary Sebelius keynote as time and Internet connection permits me to do so.

Read More

Not Saponaceous But Read the Label

Almost to the end of this journey. Didn't come out exactly as planned but writing and putting together the scattered parts into a cohesive piece is like that.



This is about the most asexual video you will ever see on the topic of personal lubrication. It is more of a reminder that product label type is really small. You might want to visit the vendor's web site for the ingredient list. But should you happen to go be going to the store plop in a magnifying glass or glasses.

The video is my humble attempt to explain why you may need them.

Read More

Not Saponaceous Choices and Considerations

This is just an introduction type post about personal lubrication for women over a certain age. I’m not a medical professional, sex expert or a working girl.

I am a person that wants to bring attention to an important issue that is in a choke hold between those that only see lubrication as a sex tool and medical people that try to strip every sexual noun and verb out of female health and sexuality issues.

Okay, now that we are clear that there are multiple reasons to use personal lubrication, such as hormonal changes, stress, a medical issue or, as I was reminded in the drugstore, lubes designed to help with conception.

A reminder, you are adding a substance to your body. You need to be aware that just because it is on a shelf in a drugstore or supermarket it doesn’t necessarily make it a safe product for you.  

Image from 1918 Gray's Anatomy from Wikimedia

My Biases

We all have them but I want to be clear on what my filter system is about items that go into the body. I lean toward natural, non-toxic and will do no harm to the body.

I wanted to say that because some of the choices in the stores are not safe or desirable to use. I’d really rather you didn’t pay cash for chemical cooties but that is a choice you have to make.

Yeah, I know, get on with it.

What You Don’t Want In A Lube

• Parabens – Industrial preservative.


• Glycerin – is a form of sugar. The vagina has bacteria. Sugar + bacteria + a warm environment? For those that do not bake the short answer is yeast. If you are prone to vaginal infections you might want to use Glycerin-Free type products.


• Petrochemicals – If any form of the ingredient can be found in a car engine, gas tank or derived from an oil refinery I’d take a pass at putting it your body.

Oil Lubes

Talk about tradition. One of the oldest forms of lubrication. I’m talking bear fat, butter, Crisco, and, ew, Petroleum Jelly. It is so much better in the now times.

You can do either natural or synthetic oils.

Natural oils can be based on nut and fruit oils such as Avocado, Almond or Olive Oil. You can raid the kitchen but in many drugstores there are oils in the hair and skincare isle that are specific formulated for massage and dry skin control. The are extremely affordable, like under $3 and contain one or two ingredients, the oil and maybe a fragrance.

There are other natural oils that you don’t necessarily want to apply to your lady bits such as Menthol, Eucalyptus, Peppermint or oils that are infused with perfume or irritants if you have sensitive skin.

Synthetic oils will be your petrochemicals such as Baby Oil, Mineral Oil, Petroleum Jelly and an alphabet soup of unpronounceable variations. Synthetic oils will be absorbed by the body and I’m not sure that you really want to ingest petroleum into your system.

The downside? You cannot use oils with Latex condoms. Oils can be runny. They can be messy.

In my opinion, oils might be better for external use on the clitoris as opposed to vaginal use.

Silicone Lubes

Silicone lubes can be formulated to have the texture and consistency users want. You apply it and it stays put. The problem is that it stays put, meaning that it could be a possible way for bacteria and infectious type matter to gain a path to your inners.

It does not quickly dissolve in water. And you can’t use silicone based sex toys with Silicone lubes, it will dissolve your investment. You have to make sure that the lube is removed from the vagina because of the risk of providing an environment for bacteria growth.

Water Based Lubes

Water lubes have water as the prominent ingredient; there is other stuff to help it gel up. If you have sensitive skin and are cautious about the other ingredients use this might be the way to go. Water lubes can dry out; a spritz of water is all you need to re-hydrate.

They are the most affordable of the three commercial types of lube but you gotta be on the look-out for the chemicals you don’t want.

Resources

A Woman’s Touch Guide on How to Choose A Lube

Good Vibrations Article on How To Choose A Lubricant

Everyday Health How to Choose A Lubricant

Read More

Not Saponaceous A Dip in the Water

This isn't about me showing off about what I know about lube. The point of these Saponaceous posts is to take this subject out of the medicine cabinet and into the realm of accessible information.




It seems that outside of the sex blog world there is no talk about a health product that also provides pleasure assistance. I don't want to diminish the sexual aspect of personal lubrication.

I'm not a sex educator but Shanna Katz is; in this video she talks about the use of water based lubrication products.

In the next post, I'll go into more detail about the types of lubes and best uses for each version of the product. I wanted to post this video to show that real women talk about sex products and resources.

Each one teach one.

Read More

Not Saponaceous Just the Facts

So, I have been meaning to write lubrication posts for months. First, I was going to test them out. It would have been a one sided test but I was game until the blues put a damper on my desire enter the laboratory.

Which is a lousy thing to have happen. If you are deep in the blues lube cannot help you. Moisturizers can’t fix everything.

Lubrication, moisturizer, lube. The language fails me so I guess I’m gonna use all three terms. This is probably a good time to define the terms. I’m not big on euphemisms for body parts.

I can say lady bits but I’m not saying that va jay jay business. I will use grown up words like clitoris and vulva and maybe some other stuff too.




A personal lubricant can be used to restore moisture to the vagina. Yes, there are lubricants for the anus but this isn’t about the anus this is about the vagina.

Lubricants have a use beyond sex play or pleasure enhancement. It can help to relieve vaginal dryness. There is more than one kind of dryness; topical where you just need a a temporary replenishment or it could be vaginal dryness caused by a medical condition.

You’ll need to speak with a health care provider if it is a medical problem.

What Happened?

For age related vaginal dryness it is the loss of estrogen. The vaginal walls are becoming thinner. Not as much moisture is working its way down the chute.

It could be stress; and peri-menopause is indeed a stressful event. It could be depression, anxiety or a number of emotional condition.

It could also be the stuff you use; the soap you bath in, certain shower gels, or so-called hygiene products.

Or it could be a combination of things that you will have to figure out.

If your you are experiencing vagina dryness because of age because of age, peri-menopause or menopause then a topical treatment might do you just fine.

Read More

Not Saponaceous 2013 The Pre-Ramble

The day before Valentine’s Day. My understanding is that Saint Valentine was not supposed to be getting it on with the Sister down the road. Or Brother cuz I do want to be inclusive. He probably didn't. I couldn't really say, never met the man.

Spiritually or corporeally when you get it on, or get down or make with the bangity bang bang you sometimes need a bit of assistance. I have a lot of assistance.

About a year ago I noticed how much lubrication product I had in my possession. Lest you think I am having Roscoe Palmer over on Friday nights, the lube in question came from my attendance at BlogHer and other women attended conferences.

Swag can be good and good for you. Meaning it is water based and not the Silicone stuff. But I’m getting a head of the story Yes, women should stock up on non-petrochemical lube.

For the next few posts it is gonna be about lubrication. The personal type used by humans.

Which now leads me to explain the title of this post. Saponaceous means fat or greasy. Which is what most of us do not want in a personal product. Saponaceous has a wonderful mouth sound when you say it.
 

I know full well if I put lube or lubrication in the title I'm going to have visitors. And some of them are gonna be bummed out because there will be no nekkid people. Or really explicit talk.


Or I'll get invitations to certain sites with offers to hook up with certain kinds of services. Can I say no thank you in advance?

I want to tear down the information wall but I'm not a sex blogger. I write about sex sometimes because it interest me. I am still human.  I can prove it.

I smile when I think about that Zardoz photo. Hell, why deprive myself; it is my blog:

Seriously, it never gets old for me. Love those boots.

Ahem.

Real people do talk about sex and health issues. Personal lubrication is a sex AND health issue that needs to be talked about with like minded souls. Souls that experiencing the life change and are finding out that it can be uncomfortable to move or be moved.

I'm talking about walking but other movements as well.

There is a point to this, I swear. 

Peri-menopause changes your body. You are in freaking free fall and yet you are expected to carry on and pretend that everything is okie-dokie. It is not.

And when you land in Menopause then you have to learn how to deal with this new body that ain’t exactly like the old one you had before but looks like it.

There will be videos. There will be places I'll recommend to visit. There will be thoughts. Maybe a podcast recommendation or two to help inspire you to appreciate and apply auditory and tactile transmedia experiences.

Not sure about that one; I'm picky about what I put in my ears as well as my body.


I feel nervous so this must be a good thing to do.

Onward.

Read More

A Few Words on Depression

It sucks. There is the clinical kind depression and the environmental kind of depression.

They both suck.

I'd elaborate more but I'd come to the same conclusion.

Let's just say that when you hear some person tell someone to snap out of being depressed understand that human does not have a clue of what he or she is saying.

Some times you get lost. You have to find your way out. That takes time. Or medication. Or an inspirational word, song or movie.

Sunlight.

Motion.

There is no one way out. There is no snapping.

We are not light fixtures.

We are human.

Read More

Light Up the Lady Bits Before It is Outlawed

When I did watch terrestrial television there the advertisement of that goofball with the giant grin would be ever present on the dial. So proud he was of stretching his tighty whiteys. 

The commercials were not exactly crude. Just a nudge and a wink to sell natural herbal kickstarters to juice up the male vascular system. No, I am not going to type the names. You know the names by heart.

Y'all know that for the past couple of years I've been advocating, quietly, to stock up on the toys and enjoyments of a female sensual nature.  It is not all I do or write about. It is a part of my life.

And your life too.

It isn't just me, there are a lot of bloggers ages advocating for healthy sexual expression (however you define it) or non-expression. It is a matter of choice. Of options to explore.

I use to think so. Until this week.

Cuz I didn't figure on the high number of biologically ignorant and stupid grown men who do not have a clue about basic biology. Men in  political power who are busy trying to legislate our control over our bodies.

Or the other ones, that think our bodies are a switch. I read something about a woman whose husband watches sports as soon as he comes home. The man does little to communicate with her during the week.

Come Saturday night he wants the bango-bango like it is his blood right.  Not the first time I heard about this and it won't be the last. Selfish brains wrapped up in a living body bag.

Enough about them. This is about us. This is a short video from Zestra using a bus analogy to why some women need a little help when they want to get busy.



I haven't used Zestra. I think I'm gonna check it out. But when I went to look at the web site video page I saw that the video viewing numbers were kinda low. Part of the reason is that they cannot get their commercials aired on broadcast and cable television.

Because broadcasters do not want to advertise a product that advocates women's active sexuality.  There is something wrong about that. But since the dinosaur of old school TV is on its way out I ain't gonna grieve all that much.

Here is the thing. I do want women to warm up their lady bits with healthy options. Like I said, I gotta test this out but more than that I want more women talking about the sexuality in our own terms.

Yes, we truly need to beat back that ignorant ish that is being pumped as taking our country back to a period of repression. 

Sexuality should not be a pain inflicting weapon (except for y'all into BDSM culture.) but the dominion of broadcasters or, more to the point, those that are casting the wishes of broads aside, needs to be broken.

Chip, chip chip away. Take them down. One way is to look at the videos.

Tell a friend. Discuss. If you buy the Zestra oil apply liberally or conservatively as your nature dictates.

My 2nd Disclaimer of the Week

Not a paid shill. I received an offer to try out a sample. I haven't decided if I will do that or just go out and buy the oil. I do want to advocate for sexual expression particularly for midlife women.  That is why I put up the post and the videos.

Read More

Choosing to Kick the Can

I did a lot of walking in New York City. The more I walked the more I missed home. This is a good thing because sometimes Los Angeles can get on your last nerve. You have to leave it to appreciate it. I missed the palm trees and the mountains.

Then again, you get to see things in a new light.

Once upon a time I used to drink soda like water. I know that I must have drank 10 to 15 cans a day. My mouth ran at light speed from all of the caffeine and sugar I was ingesting.

I was cranked up to maximum speed. Years later I went on a diet that totally cut out sugar. I had to go through a period of detox. Oh, my god was that tough. Headaches. Foggy thinking. Hostility.

When I got to the other side of the detox there was mental clarity. I dropped a lot of weight. My skin was perfect. I eventually slipped out of that diet but I never went back to that much soda ingestion.

Independent of the bottling company's intentions, I have a problem with any governmental body telling folks what they can and can't do with their bodies.There has to be a compelling, life threatening. and cost to society reason for the restriction of food products.

I get it. The cost of treating illness compounded with obesity issues does impact health care costs. We do eat way too much sugar, both visible and hidden. The costs are staggering.

I'm just not sure that banning the amount of consumption is the way to go about it. I have a feeling there will be 3 liter soda bottle smuggling from New Jersey.

I bring this up because here in California we have been seeing bus ads about the 22 teaspoons of sugar in a 20 ounce soda. One of the awareness web sites is the Kick The Can campaign.


There are other voices putting their two cents such as The Santa Clara County Public Health Department and Kaiser Permanente who are responsible for the video.

So what is my point? I think this has to be a personal decision and responsibility. Don't get me wrong. I do support what Mayor Bloomberg is trying to do; the health repercussion of internal obesity are serious.

Until each individual makes an informed decision about ingesting huge amounts of sugar and psuedo-sugars I don't think that you can have a long term lasting dietary change.

The money invested in ad campaigns making sure we remain un-healthy is staggering. Soda consumption advertising taps into our primal connections with community, social life and who we think we are.  Except that we are not runners, high jumpers or always walking on the beach with our loved ones.

Our desire to change must be real and committed. That has to go beyond legislation.

When folks said they didn't want high fructose corn syrup in their food products the industry changed and provided alternative non-HFCs products.  I think the same can happen when there are alternatives to super sugar drinks. I don't mean the diet stuff either.

So if you want to be healthier cut back on the sugar drinks. Or not. But don't leave it to the beverage companies or anyone else to make that decision for you. You are the one that has to live with it.

Looking down at my thighs I got some inner reflection to do as well.

Read More

Feels Good and Is Good for You I'm Told

I can't take credit for this one cuz I can't design worth a dang.  I don't have this specific body part but I'm a frugal kinda gal. Save a penny, save a dollar I say.

Via Mike Allgood's Google Plus Page

 I saw this on Google+ and I support this message. I'm not running for election, just another supporter for erections and/or orgasms.

Well, truthfully I would be more partial to orgasms.  Anyway, in other news I can sympathize with this blog post . Intriguing but truly NSFW post on the demotion of the 2nd head.

Read More

Lessons Part 2 - Learning That We Mirror Each Other

People are nosy. I am a people, therefore, I am nosy.

I try to control it but there are times when you just have to pay attention to other people’s business. I did not want to but I really had no choice.

Every once in a while I’ll buy a burrito from Chipotle.  I was standing in line and the person ordering before me put in her order for three burritos.

Like a drill sergeant she commanded what she wanted. Sarg wanted everything. She wanted extra of everything. Except for what she did not want.

I could see trouble coming.

When it came time to fold the burrito the laws of mass and space kicked in. The tortilla ripped a gash. Food started oozing like a scene from The Blob.

The server tried to move the heaping mass to another tortilla. Sarg became irate:

“That looks like garbage. Something you would feed a pig. I’m not a pig. Start over!”

I'm looking at Sarg.

No comment.

The food was thrown away. The server started again. Sarg told the server what she wanted extra again except for what she did not want.

I don’t know how it was possible but this time the burrito was constructed. Then the whole thing had to be done for the other two burritos she ordered.

My Turn

I was hungry. Yet a sense of culinary moderation flowed from within. I modified my order:

• Carne Asada
• No Beans
• Rice
• Corn
• Pepper/Onions
• Avocado

I bring it home and eat it. All of it. I am stuffed for the next four hours.

A few days later I watch the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead about this guy’s having a fruit and vegetable juicing fast as he interviews people across the country.



I don’t make it half way though the movie without swearing I’m gonna get a juicer.

I’ve checked out the high toned ones. They are very expensive. It will be awhile. In the meantime, I’m drinking water instead of soda and eating more veggies. Truth is, I am surrounded by temptation. And boredom. And other stuff too.  I’m stripping it away step by step.

My body agrees with making some kind of change. Sarg is still on my mind. I can’t seem to let that movie go until I do something. This is the back side of being nosy.
 
So, yeah. There are times when being silently, acutely observant of other people’s behavior is kinda sorta ok.

But not really.

Read More

Smoothies and Vibrators on a Thursday Afternoon

Yes there are more important things to do in the world. I have chosen to sit at my desk and drink an ice cold Strawberry smoothie.



As I peruse the Tweet stream friends are talking about that vibrator movie. I don't like the name of the movie, Hysteria, but that has more to do with the old pathology of doctors treating women as a literal bag of symptoms.







I like the idea of women going to a place where they can have therapeutic orgasms. So yeah, in theory the movie sounds okay.



As part of BlogHer 2011 swag I got two silver bullet things and a hunk of pink plastic with a disco ball at the end of it.



Thanks Eden Fantasys.com!



Not quite sure what to do with them. I'll figure out something.



Ok, yeah I know what I could do with them. It it is good to have tools in the kit. Diversify and broaden the horizons.

I think I want to put some mango, coconut water and tamarind powder in the mixer. Just to see what happens.

Watching a movie about repressed wealthy Victorian women going to the only place where their sexual needs are met under a cover of "illness" does not make me all gooey. I sure could use a good laugh though.



I remember going to the various on-line vibrator museums in the early days of the Internet. They were a hoot and not at all scuzzy.



Still clogging the tubes are:

• Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum at GoodVibes.com
• The Vibrator Museum - old school web pages filled with twitching devices
  
  

I don't have enough mango left. Added it to the remaining strawberries and ice. Works just as well.

Where was I? Oh yeah. So it is 2011. It is almost okay to admit you have sex toys. But not really. It will make obtaining a new job more interesting. I'm okay at the Salt Mine for now but should I leave it this post could be problematic.



They will look at the two candidates. One will have grey hair and glasses. She'll look like some one's auntie. They run my name and "Oh, my Mr. Zlocknicledo, not her, the woman is to ... public with her opinions."



Too late. I done did it. But I have to speak out loud because women going through peri-menopause and menopause need to know there are options.



Sometimes you have a mate and sometimes you don't. Things have to be dealt with or there are consequences. You want no part of the consequences such as that energy builds up and you not only want to do the seventh fleet but afterwards you want to consign the whole ship to hell.



Intellectually you know that is wrong but intellect has no control over estrogen zipping all over the place and androgen saying "Peek a boo, baby."



You will apologize less if you take care of yourself, how ever you define it.

Me? I'm just drinking a smoothie.

Read More

Where The Heck Have I Been?

I've been down in the dumps. Not a fun place to visit and you don't want to live there. There are legions of people who will tell you that you should fight your way out, just do it.

Move forward and seize the day. Kind of like pull yourself up from your bootstraps. My bootstraps are stressed. I need new boots. My feet ache. Metaphorically speaking.

The phrase loving kindness. popped into my head. I need to apply it to myself. So I have.

I need to have a time out except I can't take one. So I've pulled back a bit. I have given myself permission to only post two things a day. With planning I can contribute to other blogs that I've promised to kick in a word or two.

As for the Stoop, I've been shameful and working on reconnecting. The gurus say my blog should have a focus. I say that my blog is what I need it to be at the time.

It evolves. So do I. I'll try to do a better job of having stuff in the pipe to tide me over when the brain goes on strike.

I am trying to plot out fun time, however I define it. Fun time does not include Samy's camera, that is an obsession and I can only go to the store once every three months or so. This is not hard. I just have to read the ad in the newspaper so that I can confirm to myself that there is no reason for me to be in the neighborhood.

There are a bunch of staycation activities to keep me engage until I can slip out of town.

Anything else? I have one more poet in the video pipeline and a couple of street performances. I'll see what I can do but there is that inner hatter critic that I have to sedate first.

Oh, yeah. I am diddling with the design of the blog. Things are in flux and may change. Or not.

Read More

Brief Moment with Andy Behrman Author of Electro-Boy

After the past few days I could be very happy curled up with some Justice League of America cartoons and leave you fool adults to yourselves. I want to write about moving forward and doing positive things and yet I get sucked into Ahnold-land and Anglo-Franco confusion about the "Perp Walk."

Well, the only thing I can do is to share what I've seen these past few weeks. The first Mental Health Day in Pasadena has come and gone but I do have some video of a few of the participants that were nice enough to speak with me.



Andy Behrman is an author who has spent some time dealing with the high and lows of mental illness. He doesn't have access to the media like a certain actor but he does have a story to tell about living in a manic state.

Yes, California can make you crazy but I'm thinking that isn't what he means. This video was records at the first Mental Health Day in Pasadena 2011.

Read More

The Bard Speaks - I Have Sex Video

This Bard being the students of Bard College. This video was created in support of Planned Parenthood.



You don't have to be a young person to use the services of Planned Parenthood. There are middle aged and older people having unprotected sex. You have to know that sexually transmitted diseases do no respect age or how much hair dye you use.

Planned Parenthood is a resource you can use to get tested for STDs at any age. Let folks know that this is more than about abortion services. It is about access to sexual and reproductive health care.

In other words, sex isn't just for the young folk and if your retirement fund is a little skimpy you might want to have a reproductive health back-up plan.

Read More

Poetry In Plain Sight - Don Kingfisher Campbell

Don Campbell has a poem that seems to be channeling news from the natural world. This is his poem from the non-human population called The Latest Headlines.



The headlines of the past two weeks have been kinda interesting. Being a woman person I am particularly engaged in those headlines from various governmental bodies in the U.S. that want to control female bodies, health care, sexuality and rights of redress.

What the heck I am I talking about? Please read the BlogHer post by Gloria Feldt about the total cut in funding for Planned Parenthood and Suzanne Reisman's on Open Season on Abortion Providers.

If the past two weeks have been any indication other controls and humiliations on the female form will be hawked up as legislative proposals any second.

I am keeping a steady watch on the amendments to the Constitution. I'm vulnerable, if you catch my drift. We all are.

Read More

Hey Roger - If I Viewed TV I'd Watch

I don't care what the name of the show was I watched. Sneak Peak, At the Movies, Siskel and Ebert, Ebert and Roper and all the ones I forgot.

Agree, disagree or whatever this was how folks started talking about movies in the public arena. If you wanted depth you read Film Critic magazine; if you wanted to not finance a turkey of a flick you flipped on the show.

Not that I would have paid cash money for Carnosaur.

Roger Ebert has been through a time and a half of experiences. To say that he is fighting cancer is an understatement. Dude has been honest, transparent and helped more people than he will ever know in his dealings with the death stalker.


So when I saw in my e-mail stream something about Facebook blocking his most recent post about getting a facial prosthetic for his new show I was confused. I go to his Chicago Sun-Times page and first thought that he was rocking a sexy new beard.

I like beards.

But you have to read the complete story. I like the story even better.

A few months ago Roger spoke about his decision not to undergo reconstructive surgery. It was a powerful piece basically saying "I'm not gonna do it, I had enough."

I know what he is talking about. I don't like hospitals. I don't like how powerless they make you feel. When you gotta do it that is one thing. It is your life or your pride. There are limits and each person has to define his or her own as to how much you can take.

There is a new show he is producing with his wife called Eberts Presents At the Movies. My understanding is that he has chosen for his segment of the show to use a new chin prosthetic.

Ok by me either way but not with Facebook. His post was flagged as abusive content.

I suspect this is a techno-glitch or something like that. Because I can't figure out what human would read the post and come up with anything that was offensive about it. There isn't, not one dang thing.

Y'all can romp around Facebook if you want to. I'll visit your pages if they are open to the public. I can not, shall not and for the foreseeable future will not have a Facebook page. If they can't deal with Roger's face then they don't need any part of mine.

Just to be clear, I do not like Facebook's constant disrespect of privacy. I don't like that it will release information at the drop of a programing glitch and then you have to respond quick, fast and in a hurry to keep marketers from harvesting e-mail, phone and other private information.

I choose my friends and who I want contact with; I don't need 70,000 friends. God bless you if you really have that many people in your life.

I don't. I'm okay with that.

The ones I do have know where they can find me.

Read More

Pema Chodron on Fear and Fearlessness

My neighbors are whooping it up in celebration which makes it hard to be in a contemplative mood. Can't blame them and who am I to tell folks not to sing and dance.

Pema Chodron is a teacher who can explain ancient wisdom for western ears.



Anyway, I'd thought I would share some stuff from Sounds True. Sounds True is a place where you can find inspirational talks and teachings from a variety of disciplines. It is a commercial business but that business is helping others find healing tools and techniques for living.

I have a subscription on iTunes and recently there are a few video excerpts that I think folks would be interested in checking out.

Read More

I Will Survive Doing It My Way on The Finally Friday Freakout

We will survive if we can endure. I wish I could have told that those young souls who ended their lives because of bullies. Suicide is not a good option. It is final but the pain that is left behind for others to carry is too much.

There are people that want to do better but first, a musical interlude to mellow us out after a tragic week that will pass into time but not without a handkerchief of tears.

This is Chantay Savage with her rendition of I Will Survive (Doing it My Way)



If you never experienced being bullied as a child or a teen you really don't understand. There are adults who call it teasing, kids being kids or any other word used to explain away one or more people targeting another person.

Age is not an excuse. Youth is not an excuse. We've had elementary school students tease other children into suicide. There is something profoundly wrong here.

If you have never had 15 kids make fun of you in stereo then you do not know what hell on earth is like.

It can be physical. Verbal. It can be emotional. It can be a two for one deal that last for years. Let me emphasis that last part, "for years." That is after you tell the parents, after you tell the teacher, the principle and any other adult.

Some adults will act and some will tell you to suck it up or fight back. Some of the incompetent adults will laugh and join in on the attack because unbeknown to the young person an internal cage is being rattled.

Adults who hear stories of young suicides ask how did their pain get bad? Because the student in question had no place or person they could turn as a resource. There is embedded sexism, homophobia and all kinds of sanctioned body abuse.

Sustained abuse is either internalized, reciprocated or medicated. Death is the ultimate pain killer. Seriously, don't do drugs and don't kill yourself.

Survival and Coping

We as straight, gay, lesbian, transgendered, queer and asexual adults have to put out more emergency soul repair kits and mental life rafts.

We have the power to inform and counteract the negativity and the misinformation.

I like Dan Savage's idea about creating a video channel telling gay youth that there is another side if they can hang on because it does Get Better.

The Twitter hastags #stayalive #itgetsbetter has some good idea such as the repetition of the suicide prevention hot line for LGBTQ youth 886-488-7386. Other folks are offering coping ideas, music and resources.

The Gay Lesbian and Straight Eduction Network has an anti-bullying resource page students.

It doesn't matter to me if you are a teen or an older person trying to hold on praying expectantly or holding on 'til your change shall come.

It might mean actively looking for positive mentors. Artists, poets, dancers, sports folks. It might mean reading or searching for your historical pathfinders to figure out how they moved forward.

Deep breaths. One moment at a time.

Read More

Blood On the Saddle on the Finally Friday Freakout

This week I have mentally been Xena, Warrior Princess. I have been the Hulk without David Banner's control. I have been Thinker when I could get a word in edgewise. Mainly I have been the imaginary great, great, great-granddaughter of Walter Mitty.

The visualizations have been astounding. There was blood in the saddle. There was blood on the ground. Hey, that might make a catchy song!

Courtesy of Mr. Tex Ritter here is his rendition of that most expressive tune.



Culturally I am not supposed to talk about blood in the saddle. I'm not even supposed to admit that I have emotions because that would mark me as a female and, as some jerk face men will tell you, a female is nothing but emotions and no logic or reason.

And good help us if I talk about spherical contractions of the painful kind. The truth is that a new body is emerging. Like a teen I am caught betwixt and between.

I have a evolutionary two for one deal going on and it is not fair!

Getting menstruation was a picnic compare to this stuff. A pain hit one week a month until I was old enough to buy a small can of Pina Colada to chill out the ovaries.

Lawd, I miss those days. Now one day it is "Buy me ice cream!" or "I want the extra garlic shrimp with the veggies and the noodles oh can I also have that entire soy sauce soaked chicken too?"

The answer is no. The internal parent knows she can't let the inner child stuff herself without repercussions the next day.

The internal parent is a drag, man.

She won't let me drink, she moderates what I eat and dang if she don't have something to say about my bedtime. I freaking gotta bank hours to do stuff or there is a power drain switch she has rigged to force compliance.

Let's not talk about the internal teen age wild woman of Wongo. Or Sargent Slaughterina. Especially not Sargent Slaughterina.

If you will excuse me, I am going to whip up a peach smoothie. I will try to visually it being one scoop of Black Cherry Vanilla and one scoop Chunky Monkey. With a side order of Pad Thai and some BBQ Ribs.

But first as Queen of All She Sees I have to re-align the business sector of the U.S. to provide total production and employment and at the same time re-nurture the planet by having all commit to loving and protecting earth.

After my intergalactic mission of course, where I find the kind parental aliens with the mind ray to help me force compliance and help me deal with the ethical questions.

Yeah. I know.

I have to say, it isn't boring. Challenging, but never boring.

Read More