Just How Inclusive Do We Want To Be?

I want to talk about about something that is hard for a non-academic person to articulate let alone try to put into a public post. What does inclusive mean anymore in a public space?

This posts is not about feminism, Miley Cyrus, Fast Company, Twitter or the patriarchy. They do play a part in this musing but not really what I want to talk about.

It is about the audience. We are the audience except when we are not, as in not seen or acknowledge. It is kinda like sanctified pussy. Meaning, you want your cake and eat it too without repercussions.

Who do we perceive as the audience? Bloggers are not exempt musing but this post is mainly about mainstream media publications and content makers.

I think many on-line, off-line publications and mainstream media still believe that the demographics in their media kits totally define who their target audience is or who they desired it to be.

Allowing just demographics to define your audience in 2013 might not be the way to go.  But what do I know? I'm part of the invisible people.

Still, for giggles let's look at the Fast Companies media kit demographics:

Readership is 66% male/34% female
Median Age of Readership is 45+ for print version and 35+ for web version.

Median HHI is $175,275 for print readers
Median HHI is $72,907 for web viewers
Primary readership is managerial/professional level

Would I be perceived as a Fast Company reader? Would an Latino man working in IT be perceived as one? How about an Asian woman working in management that isn't paid the same as her Anglo male co-worker but does exactly the same job?

And even if we were perceived as readers would the expectation be that those of us that don't fit the above demographic profile would come for the content that was tech influenced or connected to business or the intersections of tech, culture and money?

Would we automatically accept that our respective cultures would not be reflected in the publication?

When they came up with that 25 Smartest Women on Twitter listical they had it coming and they got it.  And I'd lay cash money (up to $1) that they still don't know why.

True, Fast Company responded with a second posts that included more diversity and actual Twitter users but yeah, not sure they totally got it enough to be more inclusive on a regular basis.

When this type of question was asked in the 1960's, 1970s, 1980's....(Yes, this is a long dodged question by publishers, television producers and filmmakers. ) 2000s up to the 2013 the usual response has been:

"Sure, we love all of our audience. But we are just one "insert the blank" and we have an obligation to our advertisers and our primary audience which is "insert the blank."  We do what we can to be inclusive but..."

And mainstream media makers got away with that bullshit for a long, long time. That time might be ending. Or not. But change is being forced upon them.

With Twitter and Facebook in play, mainstream publishers cannot put up a wall between themselves and their total audiences. Publications and media outlets are now being called up on the shim-sham.

If they are lucky. Those are the people that care. Angry, but they do care. These are the folks that are telling media makers that you cannot pretend that "the other" does not exist.

The audience stake-holders are talking back.  For example, when ABC News had an expert explain Twerking people became unhinged.

We expect a news channel to aim a little higher than the anal clef. It is a diminished expectation sure, but folks were a little put off just the same. Yes, exercising your butt and thighs is good for you but this is a news item?

African-Americans were rightfully up in agitation because Cyrus not only did not perform the dance correctly but is anatomically ill-equip to compensate for a lack of dance skill. It was another dose of cultural appropriation and it still is distasteful.

And yet, Miley Cyrus name is permanently attached to Twerking by mainstream media and not Big Frieedia.

A moment for the obligatory Big Fredia video. Those with conservative constitutions should not watch this video.  Those who don't want to see true dancing or ass flipping are also cautioned against viewing.

I am not responsible if you get up out of your chair and try this at home without warming up first.





Eh, where was I. Oh, yeah.

Who was the intended audience? Those that voluntarily watched the VMAs. Not me. I'm still not and will never be but it was forced upon me none the less.

It isn't necessarily just about race, gender or affinity. We had black folks acting the fool as well. Russell Simmons was quickly corrected.

I think we underestimate just how strong a pull a male dominated society influences the American culture. When certain white women feminists choose to defend Hugo Schwyzer over women of color that were being victimize by this man for calling him on his shit then we gotta look at the possible reasons why:

In my subjective opinion:

1. A white male ally is worth more television and print time than the value of a black, Latino or Asian woman's voice.
2. Who was the audience they wanted to reach? Not an inclusive one but an audience that fit into their perceived demographic of power. Hugo was the emblem that pushed their agenda and made it palatable to certain viewers.
3. Do some people's voices have to be subjugated in order to advance the cause? That is what some (a fractional few to be sure) have advocated.

Oww. Which lead to more questions like:

• How Inclusive are we in our silos?
• Is it a silo or a bunker mentality? You know people get a little freaky in the bunker right?
• Can we be inclusive and still maintain our identity?
• Can we lean to use citation when appropriating another cultures art forms?

 
There are so many more questions but I have to lay this burden down for a while. 

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It Is Time

I was inspired or commanded to try to make this video. I only had a few minutes. The dream version was much better with photos flying in and sound quotes from all over the place.



This is nothing like that. It is simple. Imperfect but close enough.

Open Letter to the Great Goddess of Cinema,

The next time you want to inspire me could you at least give me three days notice? I could have tighten this up a bit and made it the way you showed me in the dream.

I appreciated the heads up about the song but for Election Day I would have liked to made a kapow kind of video.

Yes, I know. Simple is underrated. Yes, I understand I am not capable of kapow at this time. Yes, I remember the grade I got in the 16mm film class.

Anyway, thanks for the idea. I appreciate you thinking of me after all of these years.

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Politically Speaking, The Poor Are the Enemy

I’m noticing a lot of talk about “The Poor.” It is an impersonal non-descriptive term. The prior incarnations were applied to “The Women”,” The Negro” and “The Asian (well, in the past this would have been referred to as The Chinese)” followed by the word “Problem.”

During most elections, “The Poor” would be invoked as a badge of concern or at least a focal point of attention. This time is different. “The Poor” have become the enemy.

In December 2011, Newt Gingrich made a statement about how poor children don’t have a clue as to understanding responsibility, ethics or the habit of working. This, by implication, means that their parents don’t have those qualities either.




Think about that statement. Every single poor person in America is engage in illegal activities. Sound idiotic. Yet many people agreed with the ignorance of that statement.

When Gingrich asked the potential donors in the room had they ever babysat or performed yard work as a comparison to an imaginary poor child, who hasn’t appeared to do anything but breathe and eat Skittles, I guess you could work up a bit of indignation.

Perhaps their understanding of “The Poor” is what they see and hear in the local and national media. It is a distorted vision.

But that was the beginning of the wave of “The Poor” being transformed into the enemy.

There are memes of taxation and certain Ayn Rand plug-ins presenting “The Poor” as picking individuals and corporate pockets in order to receive healthcare, education, and food. There are people ready to tell you that, in their perception, have done nothing to deserve it.

Never mind that you can’t live a day in this country without paying some form of local, state or federal taxes. And many people who should know better ignore the fact of millions of poor people do work and have taxes pulled from their checks each pay period.

No, don’t let the facts get in the way of the emotionally self-validating “live and let die; it is not my problem or concern.”

The main kicker in “The Poor” is the enemy campaign is when a presidential candidate Mitt Romney states that he is not concerned with the 47% and the reason why he is not concerned:

“…These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn't connect. And he'll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean that's what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people—I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives. 

For the record, “The Poor” are hyper proactive about obtaining food, shelter and not walk around half naked.

Poor people take the jobs they can find. Many of those jobs are in the service industry or whatever employment is available. It bears repeating that many low wage jobs have been shipped to China, The Philippians and other countries.

We need to be really careful about defining who is worthy of concern or not. My understanding is that providing education was a non-negotiable part of the American experience. Have we decided that we now want a permanent class of illiterate citizens?

Are retired seniors unworthy of the money they invested in Social Security payments? Should disabled veterans have a time limit on re-entry support or medical care?  We do a terrible job of it now but we can do worse if we put our minds to it.

If you are not in the above groups and you do not make a lot of money what exactly makes you unworthy of being considered a full participant and recipient of the government’s resources?

There are real people behind the political rhetoric and quotes of the week. You wouldn’t know that from the political discourse of the past three years. I don’t expect that to change anytime soon after the election.

I do expect that if we as a people want to portray “The Poor” as the enemy there will be a price to pay.

From the thought, to the word, to the deed.

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Another 47% Moocher Speak Up for Education

I want to add my contribution to the many great bloggers writing about being in the 47% entitled, victim-hood and moocher club.  I though I was finished with it but I want to give my education version.

I wanted to go to college. My family encourage me to get a good job. That isn't why I wanted to go to college. I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to know things and people beyond my neighborhood.

Every book, every great movie and every in-depth news story I read growing up told me I could settle for less or get that book learning. 

So yes. Entitlement. As an American citizen, I was told to strive for the best because I could do anything I set my mind on doing. It was the implied entitlement of self-determination. Just like we were taught. In school. Public education funded by tax payers.

Now my family did encouraged me to do whatever it took to get a good job. (They really were job focused but could accept that college could bring more money.) There was absolutely no money for me to go to college.

Not from my mom who struggled to make the rent and later the mortgage. No father contribution because his interests were fermented elsewhere. No rich relatives. No clue how to do this other that the one financial aid workshop I attended.

I'd have to do it on scholarship money and financial aid. Yes, I knew I'd have to work. That was implied in all that reading I did.  Booker T. Washington comes to mind. I know there are people that do not believe broke folks understand about scrimping and saving for a long term goal.

We did. We still do.

I did get a few small scholarships but it was a student loan and what is known as a Pell grant that got me in the door.

Entitlement, check. Moocher, check.

I worked as I went to classes. The first school was in a rural place that I as a city girl had no place being. I left after a year and tried a local university.

My first university class I got the evil eyes from some of the white folks who were very angry about my presence. I believe the words uttered were "Affirmative Action." They made it known I should not have been sucking up the same air or be allowed in the room.

Now, I'm not too clear on this victim-hood part. Were they the victims for having to suffer my presence in the room? Cuz Skippy and Trixie made no pretense about their revulsion on my sitting in the class.

Still working side jobs, living in crappy places and trying to keep up. I wasn't a victim. I was really busy trying to keep up. Until I couldn't. And had to drop out.

If you are still reading at this point let me provide you with a musical interlude.


Round Two

I lick my wounds and go back again using Pell grants, more student loans and side jobs. At my community college the people I took classes with were grandmothers, guys working the 2nd or 3rd shift. We were back to school moms, welders and other folks that wanted that diploma.

No Skippy. No Trixie. No drama. We were white, black, Asian, and everybody else that was ready at 7p.m. for class.

I also took advantage of free vocational education training. I learned to type and write business letters. This was counter to my proto-feminist leanings but I needed to make sure I could crowbar my way in the door of a better job.

Round Three - Move to California 

Second day in state and I'm looking in the Classifieds. Word Processor. Data Entry. Computer operator. I had no idea what they were talking about.  I had just left my home town where companies were still working with IBM memory typewriters. I got temp jobs but I needed to learn this other stuff.

Highly motivated. In 1982 these job paid $25 an hour. However, did not have $5,000 for classes.

So my lazy broke behind bought and studied computer magazines. I was very willing to help out on temp jobs that allowed me to touch or use their computers. Learned very quickly to print out the Help menu. Covert on the job training.

Two years later,there was a free computer class at the local college. Yes, my inner moocher said ring-a-ding-ding.

In-between the classes were employment where I put my tax dollars back into the kitty. There came a time where I could pay for my classes. I paid with no complaint.

There came a time when I was teaching other people, working women, moms, domestic violence victims how to use the computer and software. I did so willingly.

My students did not know this but I was not going to let any of them leave my class without knowing how to do something. And encourage them. And respect them. And make sure they could write a simple Excel formula.  No half stepping.

This 47% moocher paid back all of my student loans.  This moocher made sure she continued to learn both in city or state supported training or through the community college or university system.

This moocher now pays for her classes because the great state of California made it possible for me to keep up with the changes in the labor market. This moocher pays taxes so that others can do the same.

About to start a new adventure, career wise. I will need to go back to school. Don't worry 51% folks. I have the money to pay for it. Or pay it back if I need another student loan.

My point in laying this all out is that people do not live in a vacuum. It isn't about taking and not giving back. Tax dollars circulate and provide a way to help others provide skills to help folks get on their feet and return the investment. Multiple times.

That doctor thumping on your chest? Student loans. That building going up? Some of those guys went through an apprentice training program in a city or state training partnership with industry. That person slinging that gourmet meal might have attended a cooking school using financial aid.

Many of you really don't know where your tax dollars are working positively for you and your communities. You now know one success story. There are millions more.

Yes, among my many gifts I am a low down 47% moocher. We are legion.

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Trying Not to Be Numbed Out and Failing

There is a part of me that wants me to "do something". There is a section of my brain that is saying "chill".  I can't handle the outrage of the day and the cruelty of humans while I'm fighting off this cold I caught last week.

The days are piling up but this unhappy camper needs to step back and just be a rank and file human being. More rank cuz I've been hacking up a bunch of dis-comfortable internal matter.

When I was a kid, I did the number about how old I'd be at this time. I hoped for flying cars. Weekend trips to Mars. Walking through the wonders of a hydroponic city.

I read a lot of SciFi when I was a kid. I was ready. I knew the future was gonna be great.

Here I am. I have access to primitive tri-corders (smartphones and tablets) I have a global communications network at my finger tips. I have friends and acquaintances on three continents.

Yet a hate filled foolish man make makes a movie whose trailer is on YouTube which is picked up by Egyptian television and people who had nothing to do with the damn thing are dead.

The conflicts of religion, free speech, intolerance and ignorance come knocking on my door. Maybe it is good that I am hacking up dis-comfortable internal matter. Keeps me from adding to the misery.

Numbing Through Literature

I've been watching clips of Jane Austen movies. I don't know why, not really a big fan of Austen's work. I tried reading it but I don't have the patience to step into that very restrictive world. The BBC versions are more accessible to me.

But here is the thing. That world had everything laid out. What you could do, what you could say, how to dress and how you should live. It was self-imposed programmed living.

There were rebels. There was a great deal of hypocrisy. In no way, shape of form would I advocate a returned to such structured living.

Yet I watch clips from the BBC series and movies. I numb out on just how daffy we are acting today. There is a kind of peace in it. A false peace, but sometimes you need a resting spot. A cave that acts as a portal to another world.

Besides, I've seen all the Justice League of America. Trying to develop a taste for Richard Diamond and Boston Blackie. The Naked City rocks but I got to pace myself on that one; excellent writing and storytelling.  The episode I saw was so good it made me feel inferior.

Then again, it might have been the cold medicine.

I have to come out of it. Get back into my flow and do some good. Or at least do no harm.

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Robert Scheer and How He Got to Vietnam

Robert Scheer knows a lot of people. Some of the people he mentions in this clip recorded at the Media Makers 99% Summit I haven't a strong connection as to who they are or were. Lots of history gets lost that way.



I have heard of Paul Krassner but not to clear on the details. The good news is that I should probably find out why this man is important or at least why does Scheer think so.

For more information about Robert Scheer you can check out www.truthdig.com.

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Open Letter to Jeanette at Utah Valley Magazine

A few days ago Utah Valley Magazine had a photo of some of the women in the office. You might have heard about it. This is a copy of that photo.

The headline for the photo was Women of Color. Now, hold on those of you who are women of color for just a sec. For those of you not traditionally thought of as women of color take two seconds.

I know. I understand. I got a brand new dent on my desk.  Deep breath, let the good air in, let the bad air out. Ok.

The editor of the magazine, Jeanette Bennett has written her explanation of how the photo and the headline came to be published. This is the comment that I left on her blog.

I wanted to address her question in the post as to why folks got so heated up about the headline and photo and how they did not seem to articulate anything more than anger. And there are some angry folks. Understandable.

But if she was serious about wanting to know why the headline and photo struck a bunch of nerves I wanted to step up and give it a go. It is not the only reason. No,  certainly not. And I know for certain there will be white folks that will be angry about being told they have no color. Never said that nor implied it.

Damn, I hate race based posts that require a book and a half to do properly. Anyway, this is the comment that I left at her blog. It may or may not be approved but I wanted to make sure some body sees it.

I appreciate your efforts to clarify how the cover and headline occurred. I am not here to cuss you out. No hate, no insults and no calls for lighting folks up.

As an African American woman I want to chime in on why the headline and the photo caused people to blink repeatedly. I have to say looking at the photo there was a psychic disconnect.

You know, it has been kinda rough for people of color. We have so many folks that want to be blind to seeing our ethnicity aka " I don't see color, I see the person."  Not really true, but I'm not here to get that fire going. Another trope is "I'm American, dammit, why can't you be too?" I am American with ancestors from Africa. I don't want my history expunged.

No, of course you did not mean for that meaning. Yet your headline or photo did that. In addition, with the bitterness and mendacity of the current political campaigns it certainly feels like open season on anyone not white, Caucasian or so called true American. It was, in a way a reminder of how a term is appropriated by another ethnic group then presented as their own definition.

There is a disconnect. There was a WTF moment that seem to imply resonance with the desire to turn this country back to 1945 or earlier.

You as a writer and editor know that words have a life and an energy of their own once published.  That is what happened to your headline. For some of us it was hurtful because we were not present in that photo. We were erased but the term remained visible under folks that rosy cheeks and straight flowing hair.

It is like have the a traditional Caucasian church choir (any choir, not specify any that might happen to be in Utah) attempting to sing One Nation Under A Groove.  It is possible to for the choir to sing the words. It would be a similar psychic disconnect. It would resonate poorly.

That is what happened. The photo and headline resonated exclusion.  Exclusion sometimes generates anger.  Or sadness. Or maybe confirmation that we have much more work to do to understand each other.

I suspect that there are people of color in your community that could write for your magazine. You might have to look past your usual social networking groups. You might have to shift your perceptions that they are not present.

Perhaps there is something about the mag that discourages contributions from people of color.

That would be a good place to start looking within.

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Gaby Moreno at Make Music Pasadena 2012

With the current xenophobia running rampant in this country wrapped in patriotism it is hard to make the case that we need to listen.

Think. Reason it out. It does not matter now.

Either we unite under one nation or we splinter in to a pseudo sovereign void. Not about the left or the right anymore. You can't white wash a nation. We can destroy ourselves but we can't go back.

I get tired of trying to talk to people who will not listen. And the ones that do listen are just fed up. How much more can you take in one day? You can't keep ingesting negativity.

I don't want to. Not today.



Which is why the spirits and or random DNA cells allow for music. This is just a short clip from a performer named Gaby Moreno. She was busting serious vocals at Make Music Pasadena 2012.

I was across the street at Samy's Camera getting a new memory card. I walk out the door and I hear this voice booming from half a block away.

I mosey on over to Memorial Park and there she was blending that Guatemalan voice around blues licks from some African from long ago. The ugliness, stupidity and mendacity of the world no longer mattered.

We who heard her were bound in a place of music. No ID card required. For more information about Gaby you can visit her Facebook page.

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Applying Socratic Questions In Real Life

I don't want to be accused of poaching a good idea so I'm telling you from jump street that this post was inspired by David Straker's site, Changing Minds. Dude is deep into well of looking at the various forms of persuasion.

It was also inspired by some of the nuttiness about how we have discussions in America about very serious, complicated topics.The most recent set furor is about education.

The 2012 Texas Republican Platform does encode the belief system of many Americans. There is no point in denying it. The orginal text as printed and accepted by the convention is:

We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

I am not making this stuff up or distorting the text. You can read or download the 23 page document here.

Now to be fair, when asked by Talking Points Memo the Communications director said that the inclusion of the critical thinking statement was a mistake but it was approved and cannot be corrected until 2014.

Like Janis Joplin said, break a little piece of my heart. Except this does not make me feel good. Which is why I like hanging out at sites like Changing Minds.

You know, a Texas school could probably get in trouble linking to that site. This joint is nine kinds of deep kind of place

But this is where Socrates comes in. There is a list of Socratic questions. Those of us that actively use critical thinking skills (or want to) can employ these questions to get at the deeper intent of a speaker's message.

Now you shouldn't waste time on the stupid, the ridiculous or the mean spirit nature of personal attacks. Cause stupid is a finite form. You can't argue a brick wall or a group of people determined to create a system of living drones.

But if you are in a discussion with a reasonable person and want to understand what is being said this is a good starting point.  You don't have to ask the questions out loud but it couldn't hurt.

The Questions:

1. Why are you saying that? 
2. What exactly does this mean? 
3. How does this relate to what we have been talking about? 
4. What is the nature of ...? 
5. What do we already know about this? 
6. Can you give me an example? 
7. Are you saying?
8. Can you rephrase that, please? 

So if you got some brain cells to spare you might want to read the full platform of the Texas GOP and then, at your own person risk and responsibility, apply the questions to what you have just read. 

This is not for the faint of heart. I gave up after question 1.  Many because it is too nice a day to be wasting time inside dealing with a fear generated document.

It is fear based based document. It is about power and control. Hell, it is always about fear, power and control when it comes to modern politics.

Just so you know, I have the hots for HOTS and I'm not letting it go. The rest of you come to your own conclusions unless you live in Texas.

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In Memory of Fred and Tears of Remembrance

Each generation brings something new to the party. What we held true 20 years ago gets pushed to the past and then evaporated. It is hard to understand until you live it. I have my memories and they can't really be touched by re-inventors.

Most of the time.

This is a re-mix video by PBS Digital Studios called Garden of the Mind. It is some words and moments  with a neighbor.



It has been a good long while since Fred Rogers has passed on. Certainly a icon in children's television and as an advocate of quality television.

I remember seeing Mr. Rogers talking to Congress about the need for a national educational television system. In that quiet powerful way the real Fred Rogers got the money.


I've seen Fred parodied by comedians and some were less than kind.  You had to work hard to find people who would publicly said they didn't care for the man or his show. Sure, they would have had to been a couple of folks. But not many.

On of my favorite stories is when his car was stolen on day one and on day two it was returned with an apology because they didn't know it was "his car."

Truth be told, I barely hear the music in the video. I think what struck me was his reminder to be creative, to explore, to be open.

To be kind. Civil. Engaged.

I'm tearing up again. That man has me in tears and it is not logical.

I gotta brace up and get on with the day.

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Passing Through June Gloom

June Gloom here in Los Angeles is when the mornings are really cloudy. It is cool outside. It is blah. As the day moves on it get sunny and bright. The warmth hits the body and life is good again.

But you have to pass through June Gloom.

Not only a weather condition but a reality of life. You can BS yourself into saying you want make a change or you can just up and do it.

Most folks would rather not. People change because they are in trouble and they have no choice in the matter. I am of the opinion you should not wait for life to kick your tushy in order to make it happen. Life kicks kinda hard and it is usually the same lesson I thought I learned the last time.

I know I have to put new things in place. I am ready. I've been ready but that fear monster creeps up on you. The "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" are hitting me hard now.

I am being cryptic and I don't mean to be. I would like to take different kinds of multimedia storytelling classes. That can happen; I just need to find one that I can afford and I don't need to drive to get there.

I need to clear out old unused ideas and how it use to be.  Those days are gone. What do I want to do now?

What I know is that the world I was prepped for is almost gone. Since I am planning to be around for a bunch more years what do I do? With what skills?

How many tribes will I have to hook up with that will have me? 

I'm thinking hard about it and it is still the June Gloom that envelopes me.

I know it.

I am not a patient person. I am still working on that lesson. I still am rubbing my tushy.

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The Book Wall at The L.A. Times Festival of Books

A moment away from the sensual pleasure of life to one less tactile. It has been a while since I've posted a video. Lot's of crap going on behind the screen I can't get into.

I still record and take photos but seems like I never have time to work on posting any more. Trying to change that by making this effort.

This is a video impression of the book wall at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. All kinds of authors and name of books were scribbled, slagged and over powered those that needed to write in tiny print.

Lots of Hungry Games. Ayn Rand supporters. Bible thumpers with specific chapter and verse.  Have to say there were also a lot of Diary of a Wimpy Kid supporters as well.

Live like there is no tomorrow but stock up just in case.

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Testimony - It Gets Better Video from SFGMC

Not sure I should be writing about this video. I'm not gay. I am not a male. Don't even live in San Francisco. But when did that stop anybody from putting their two cents in matters that peripherally concern them.

I do know other human beings attempt to hurt another because they are different. Too small. Too large Talk funny.

I know the power of words that can hurt, of punching used as a right of passage and the emotional pain that can be soul crushing. Ask anyone that had been bullied as a child. It does not take much to bring up the memories.They know what I am talking about.

So I am very interested in the It Gets Better video series. If it stops one teen or pre-teen from doing themselves in it works for me.



This is a video by the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus called Testimony.

It is only recently that I have slowly started talking about being bullied as a child.

It was bad.

Wait, there is no good form of being bullied.

I have since learned that other people had matches thrown on their hair or coats. Humiliated beyond measure with all kinds of stuff thrown on their bodes. And last, but not least, sanctioned shame.
Because if you tell some adults that you are indeed being victimized by a group of people most will tell you to "suck it up and get over it".

While you are standing in the middle of hell. You ask someone to help you and they are telling you to stand and continue to get burned. They say it is kid stuff. I am hear to tell you that kids can be vicious.

For me, I literally had to go ape shit crazy and beat someone up to get most of them off my back. It was a temporary solution. It wasn't in my nature but you hurt a person enough and one way or another they will find a solution.

Usually, a bad one. Suicide is a very bad solution. It doesn't matter who you are, it truly hurts those that are left behind.

I was a gentle person who learned to be defensive and non-trusting. "Suck it up" they say. The reality is that you never, ever get totally over it.

So, as a straight woman, as a person with a history that includes being bullied and as a fellow traveler on this road of life check I want to pass this video along to friends and acquaintances.

If you like the song and would like to own a legal copy then you can go to the Bandcamp page and download it. It would help the SFGMC chorus earn a little cash in the stash.

Some days are rough. Still, it gets better.

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Trying to Understand Shamrock Socks in February 2012

I have no love for Valentine’s day. In this case, I mean I do not have any guy I’m going to be snuggling up to come February 14th. I am okay with that reality. At peace with the world. Tra, lah, trah, lah.

Okay, not not really.

It is Black History Month aka African American History and Heritage Month. The flag waving permissible issms are at a all time high and show no sign of dipping below the legal legal of sanity. The only grace I can take hold of is the the debates for the Republican contenders for the White House are taking the month off.

For the record, I am not associating the GOP contenders with Target.  The fact that the GOP contenders have tried to make people that look like me targets for their bile is beside the point.

And I do have one.

I was in Target. Target has black hair care products that I generally have to ride a bus three hours to get to a store that has the same stuff at a huge mark-up. I can get it $15 cheaper at Target.

Target has food, mostly processed food but the one near me has some fresh items. Target has clothes that fit potions of my body in a price range I can afford.

They have Valentine’s day stuff that is just about to go to half price. They have St. Patrick socks. Well, socks that have shamrocks on them.

I know what they don’t have. A decent affordable stand alone .mp3 player. A topic for another time. They also don’t have anything about celebrating African American History or Heritage Month. 

There are no banners. No placards. No streamers.  Not a balloon. Not fond of balloons anyway so that could be a plus.

I’m looking at those St. Patrick influenced socks and I am trying to figure out why are they putting the shamrock stuff out in February? I’m standing there internally scratching my head. 

Then it comes to me. Beer. 

On St. Patrick’s day everybody wears the green. Folks having no genealogical peeps from the island will be fixing corned beef and cabbage or at least reading about a heart healthy version in a magazine or newspaper.

There will be big parades that will be inclusive and exclusive. At least here in California. There will be beer drinking and some will even drink beer that is colored green.  Oh, and there will be green peppermint McFlurries and shamrocks on cookies.

You can sell St. Patrick’s day. 

You can’t exactly sell Black History Month. It is problematic.

If this was the 1970s you could move red, green and black socks.  It is not the 1970s anymore.  How about some “Remember the Dream” socks?  Well, perhaps not.

You could have posters in the stores with photos of historical ancestors but I’d be kinda worried which ancestor’s poster would wind up hanging in the toilet paper section.

Then you would have those folks that would complain. There is always somebody to complain but these particular people would complain that "there isn’t a White History Month so why should anybody recognize Black History Month?"

These same folks will be also be complaining through Women’s History Month, Latino/Hispano/Chicano/Mexicano Heritage Month and Asian and Pan Pacific Heritage Month. Some of those whiners will be debating again in March.

Really Not Picking on Target

We are told that everybody wants to wear the green for a day. Watch your local papers and advertising  circulars. A stereotypical green having nothing to do with living people to be sure but it is celebrated and sold with enthusiasm.

It involves food and beer and, well, that is about I know about the day.

Authentic Irish and Irish American history is fascinating, complex and is woven into the building of this nation. That isn’t what the commercial St. Patrick’s day is about but we do a strange form of let’s pretend.

Authentic African American history is fascinating, complex and is intractably woven into the building of the nation. It seems that folks would rather let the days go by.

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Layoffs and Musings on the Stoop

There are life events that are keeping me away from blogging. I don't like that because blogging has been good to me. Helps me stay on this side of sane. So many people are having troubles.

I know that other people's troubles can look worse than your own. In a way, that makes you feel better.

But there is a toxicity to sucking up too much bad stuff. Any bad stuff. What I can tell you is that a lot of my friends and acquaintances are losing their jobs.

My j.o.b. at the Salt mine is not looking that secure. It never was but there have been some rattlings that have me saying affirmations and gratitudes for what I have this day for I may not have it the next..

I'm not unemployed. I'm fine. No worries. Well yeah, but not that one as yet. 

I remember the last time I was long term unemployed. It was painful and dangerous. Nobody wants to live like a refuge in her own country but there is a point where you start to feel like you are not connected any more to normal life. Never in my life do I want to experience that again.

Never, ever, ever.

I remember that having fat assed politicians calling folks spoiled and lazy. Nothing has changed. You have people constantly questioning are you trying enough? Doing enough.

Some days that is a legitimate question because the last thing you want to do is face another day of not bringing home the prize. You have to find your way to your answer. At the same time trying to be open to good ideas and tuning out the less than helpful bromides that will be forced down your throat.

There are people who believe that you are on your own and you should just suck it up baby. No promises, guarantees or assistance.

To those people I say fuck you and I do not mean it in a pleasant, loving way either. You can have money in the bank and discretionary income one day and a fire, flood, windstorm or illness can take it all away. You are indeed sucking life up.

Yet some man or woman will stand on their faith or party line and tell the world you are a hippie, shiftless and not worth the time of day. I can hear their little minds going; "If only they could be like me so they would know how miserable they are."

If you are truly a so-called superior person you do not need to kick a person when they are down on his or her luck. You have the choice to help or not to help. There are times when you shouldn't provide assistance. 

But to kick and demean people on hard times? Nasty. And yes, your soul will rot in hell and I don't necessarily mean some distant place but in the core of your being where you know you are wrong.

I mention no names. Just saying. Let's stop making hate the unemployed a national sport.

Last night I was watching Liz Henry's tweets and retweets about Oakland and San Francisco Occupy protests that ended badly.

I couldn't watch people get beat again.

So for this Sunday what I have to offer is the one step, one breath at time thing.

Move forward a bit, breath.
Move forward a bit and look around that snatch another breath.
Repeat.

That is where I am. There are bigger things to worry about but the things that are close to home that call your name. That and Google Chrome keeps locking up on me.

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Re-invention and Change - The White Hut

I needed down time. I have gotten up at 4 a.m. to write or cobble together items of interest for my blogs and others. I want to create and do things but I was force to realize that I need x amount of sleep and nutrition.

When one or both get out of balance I am not a happy camper.There is other stuff happening that I can't discuss but that life balance thing is kicking me into submission.  I got to find writing time that does not involve the pre-dawn hours.

This is a project I've been wanting to finish for chunk of time. I want to mix essays with video. This will not look that different from my other work but my goal today was to post a video.

The Whit Hut was a mom and pop restaurant in the Pasadena area. It closed in September 2011 and word has it that a new organic coffee house will be built. I'm sure that the new joint will not be serving up fat laced Pastrami on Rye. 


Part Two

I have to step back and think about what do I want to do. I want to re-claim a bit of my creative writing. I want to really get better working with video. I need a new career but I think what I want to do hasn't been invented yet so I have to pave my own path.

Not a bad idea but it can make a person nervous. Can you re-invent yourself again and again and again?

Yes. You can. It is not easy but I'd rather give it a go than to be among the walking dead.

That is not a zombie reference.

There are people that do the same thing day in and day out because it is safe. No deviation. No curiosity about what went before or what is to come. No hobbies. No vices.  No challenges. No goals.

Nothing. They live. The eat. They work. They sleep. It is enough for them.

Now if you are in any form of recovery and you aspire to this type of life go for it. I'm not talking about you. You have already lived a bit and you need routine and stability. Carry on and work your program.

For me, I want more. I want to access the untapped parts of my potential. I can't mess around, I'm coming up on another birthday in a few months and I want something to show for it.

I thought that 2011 was going to be a quiet year and that sucker did everything in its power to prove me wrong.  I might need a combat helmet for 2012.

Right now, it is a beautiful day and I have time for a nap, if I want one.

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When A Gavel Strikes At Free Speech in Pensacola

The 1st amendment is not something to mess around with. If we lose it by excess chipping away from city, state or federal governments we are lost.

Americans have the right to stand up to our government and speak out. Lately our various elected officials seem to grow tired of citizens speech. This is the most recent example. It won't be the last.

For the record, he was allowed to come back into the chamber and make his full point.



There seems to be some question if he is a priest. I'm not sure I understand but at some point he was a Catholic priest. He then transition to the Orthodox church in 2009. He is married with two children. http://www.saintbenedictmission.com/staff.html

Anyway, it is an interesting bit of video on where we are today and in the days to come.

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The Other Side of Being Among the 99%

It is about the flow of money. Much of that employment flow has been diverted to other states and countries.

If you, you being a wealthy, rich or doing all right person don't understand what people are talking about perhaps you have a better relationship with things.



So here are some things. These are called empty stores. Stores that had an owner and employees. They don't have them any more. When folks are unemployed their discretionary shopping money vaporises. That means they can't go shopping.

No shoppers means no customers. No customers means no business.No business tax. No business to business purchases. Nothing.

You may have all the shopping options you can handle. When a community has lost too many vendors or merchants in an area you have a dying city.Or a bunch of blocks with nothing but empty window.

I have nothing more to add.

It is just a visual observation. Also my Day 12 VloMo video.

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When We Gather In Our Names

It is a moment and then it is gone. That is why we take photos when we get the chance. Trying to keep up with that road runner known as the Queen of Spain can be a full time job.

Taking the kids to school. Getting herself to treatments. Speaking at conventions about cyberbullying and Lupus. I can just about keep up with her on Twitter. She's got multiple streams going on Facebook.

At BlogWorld Los Angeles 2011 I caught up with Cecily Kellog, Anissa Mayhew and Erin Kotecki Vest. They were finishing their panel and had just got kicked out of the room. Believe me when I say the room wrangler had to work hard to get those dames to stop talking.


Photos and phone slinging commenced. A couple of other folks drift in and out.  I want to know how she knows the dude in the kilt?

That guy way everywhere. So this video is for them. And for me.

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Looking Into the Rafters - Day 3 of Vlomo 2011

I feel like I have walked almost every inch of the Los Angeles Convention Center. I haven't but that joint is huge.




Anyway this is a video that I recorded when I looked up into the rafters of the convention center. I have more but if you are curious about this Vlomo 2011 stuff check out the blog I'm curating at http://vlomo2011.tumblr.com

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