You Can Learn A Lot from A Mug

I went to the Urban Dictionary because I needed a few more words for penis. Because I want to write something and there might be a penile limit to how much I can type penis.

Mugs and Shirts for Sale at Urban Dictionary

I hit the home page and the first thing I see is this citation and the option to buy mugs. I get the person wanted to make a point. I do.

I get that Urban Dictionary uses contributors to the site to help generate income and it is on auto-pilot. I'm not asking for outrage or action against anybody.

But I say unto you, the fuckers still do not get it or understand.  And as much as the concept of having those two words fused on to mugs and t-shirts irk me I have to say that the next citation just adds fuel to an already burning fire.

I didnt want to date the ho, I was just DTF

Now help me out here. Women are being told you can't have access to birth control. Can't have access to the morning after pill. Can't even be sure that if you miscarry in certain states you won't be arrested.  But plow boys can whip it out day and night. Expectation of plenty and you, female person are considered a ho if you give it up. Hypocrisy 101.

I don't know. Maybe we should go all the way back and have young men raise sheep.


We need to make it understood that rape is not a commodity to be sold. Like it is now being done politically. Like it has been done in the marketplace.

Do what you need to do, I'm just showing you a bit more of what we are up against.

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Arizona Shooting: Memorial to Tucson Victims

This is a video by Dan Chung on the moment of silence for the victims of the Arizona shooting.

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Blood vs Discourse - What More Will It Take?

I have written posts about civility at BlogHer. At BlogHer10 we had a panel on How to Start, Engage in and Moderate Civil Political Debate because we wanted to be a place where folks could talk without poison or ranker to overtake valid differences of opinion.

People from diverse backgrounds have spoken of this need for civil discourse as well. We continue to do so because we did not want to see a day like this happen. We tried to tell people there is a better way to get your point across than verbally assaulting and damning groups of people, beliefs/non-beliefs and ideas.

And yet as I type this there are people trying to white wash what has been said, printed and recorded from the past few years as "Oh no, we didn't say that." or "Show me proof that my __________ had anything to do with the death of a nine-year old child."

Other people will present the idea that it was just a mad man, a crazy person who did this horrible thing. This event had nothing to do with what they are talking about or their concerns about the direction of the country.

Bullshit.

Yeah, I am still too angry to write what I truly want to say. I do believe in civility, civil discourse and healthy debate.

But I am a human being too. I have such anger against those people, corporations, political groups and media companies that profited from hate speech.

Blood money taken in pride of advancing their agenda. My anger does nothing to help but it does need to be expressed.

Because once I understand and focus my anger into positive energy only then can I see, express and provide resources that will take us from the darkness into the light.

Make no mistake. this is a very dark time.

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Elephant Journal Interview with Sister Prejean

Sister Helen Prejean and I would agree wholeheartedly about some issues and disagree with others. The one thing I am sure about is that she would not want me dead or condemn me to hell because we disagreed. Still working on processing my anger about the murder of Dr. Tiller.

Walk the Talk Show: Sister Helen Prejean from Alex King & Mito Media on Vimeo.

This is an interview conducted at the Naropa University by Waylon Lewis. What I was impressed by is that she understands the duality of our natures. Sister Prejean talks about forgiveness in impossible situations, what spiritual love is (and it does not involve shooting someone in the name of God) and yes, honor life but pass the BBQ.

Ok, maybe not the BBQ. Slide that gumbo over here. Anyway, for more about mindful, meditative, higher plane type talking visit Elephant Journal.

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Sunday Morning Thoughts About The PSA Project

It has been a challenge but not just the ones that I anticipated. Finding time, yes that is a constant. To find the time to think, assemble and create always kicks me in the pants. Two working days and five to create would help. Unfortunately my life is currently structured the other way around.

There are other things as well. The subject matter. The more I read about violence, violence against men, violence against women and all the inter-linking problems associated with violence is a huge big toxic soup. That isn't correct. It is how much I'm able to digest before I become numb or even worse, despondent over our collective survival.

I have limits about how much I want to ingest. Reading about how much anger some black men have toward black women is heartbreaking. Misogyny doesn't come close to what is out there.

Behind that anger there is pain. What are we not hearing? Is it our responsibility to even try to listen at this point? Is this something that women should be concerned about? Why to we have to fix ourselves and them too? Is it time to structure a new life beyond "the haters?"

I Have An Example

Many years, almost 25 years now, I lived in an apartment building. There was a couple above me. Quiet folks, both worked.

One night there was a loud angry ruckus above me. Furniture breaking, a man cussing a woman out of her name and humanity. Punches. I heard everything. I thought it was an intruder so I reached for the phone. Then I heard it. "I am your husband, you do as I say. I don't want to heard anything come out of your M-F'ing mouth. You do for me!"

I took my hand off of the phone. You see, at the time what I was taught was that if you hear some guy beating a woman that was between them. You didn't call the police. If the woman managed to get outside and ask for help you could do it then but behind their doors, nope you couldn't do it.

For the record, if you hear or see one person beating the hell out of another person CALL THE POLICE!

Anyway, I saw the woman the next day. Half her face had been beaten. You know what she did? She smiled at me as if nothing happened. I nodded a half smile back. We were complicit in a deception. A deception supported by religion, education, business and culture.

There are many stakeholders in making sure there is control over the treatment of women, men and dollars. If they financially benefit from the sublimation of women there is no vested interest in stopping. If they produce music that cause young men to kill themselves because they live in perpetual fear there is no reason for them to change the content of the product.

There is a lot of deception going on. This must change, generally by the light of truth. I can start with me. I can do what I can do and I will. I'm still figuring things out. Trying to make the process simpler so that it can be replicated.

It seems in addition to awareness there also has to be, I don't know how to say this, but a grounding in self-love, self-esteem and being secure. Emotionally secure. Spiritually secure. This is not the same as religion, I'm talking about something to the effect that a person intrinsically knows he or she is loved. Faith based or self generated, I don't care. However you get there. There has to be more than consumption to fill the void.

So. Yeah. The violence is real. If it is in your face you have to deal with it. It is also a symptom of deeper problems. How can each one of us, in the space we have, resolve the actual problems?

There are ways. But is there willingness? I have so many damn questions it isn't funny.

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No Means No PSA - PSA Project

This is a text based video on helping folks remember that "No" does not require a reason when it comes to deciding if you want to have sex with another person. Some people are under the impression that no is a prelude to yes. I found a good source of ideas at http://www.clotheslineproject.org and that is the organization I imagined could benefit from created the PSA

No. It is not. She may have tacky underwear she doesn't want you to see. You might have really bad breath. You might be a nice guy. You might be a self-centered inconsiderate bore. She might have other things to do and having sex with you isn't on the list.



When in doubt back up and stop. The inspiration for this came from a line text in the UCLA Freshman Handbook. There was a section on Date Rape and in the section for men it said that men should not take it personal that a woman does not want to have sex with them.

I do agree with that sentence but there wasn't an equivalent statement for the women. For the women it was all pro-active self defense and awareness. So if all it takes is to spread the word that men need to know that no having sex from someone who says no to them is not a bad thing then heck yeah, pass the word.

(Yes, I know it is about self esteem, power and a bunch of other stuff. But if we can stop one guy from doing something seriously wrong with a few words let's put the thought in his head.)

Process and Tools:

• Swish Max a very easy to use Flash animation program.
  
• Slide screen PNG image. I used Corel Paint Shop Pro X2 to make transparent
  
• Sound Loops from FlashKit.com
• Assembled in Serif Movie Plus X3
  

This week I wanted to keep it really simple and play with text and music. I am learning to focus on one idea and express that idea.

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