Discovering The Little Death Podcast

The crickets have stopped for the night. Only a strangler or two put out last call. I am in-between sleep and being awake so I reach for my music player for something to put me back to sleep.

I'm looking for something different. I came to this podcast a little late but I'm intrigued with a murder mystery set in a future with different rules and beings.

I place the ear bud in and I am taken to the Sextel 69.

In honor of National Masturbation Month 2012 I'm seeking out female friendly erotic podcasts. This one is more literary story than wham bam and that is just the way I like it.

Sometimes.

This is Heat Flash Erotica's "The Little Death," by Helen E. H. Madden.

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You Are Still A Young Man - Idiot!

I have to straddle a line between retaliation and just let it pass. I haven't told you the story yet. There is always a story. It is not apocryphal. It is tough out there in the brick and mortar world.

I was on the train. Young man and his friend enter the car as they start talking about girls. I have dubbed him Dumbstruck and his sidekick, Goofy.

So Dumbstruck was yacking on how he could not find any chicks. It was too early and the girls were not liquored up yet.  It was around 5pm so I could kinda see his dilemma. It was all I could do not to want to hit Dumbstruck upside the head.

Goofy co-sign with an understanding head bob to Dumbstruck's assessment of the situation.

Dumbstruck then continued conversing how he could find nothing but ugly women all day long. He had a need to find pretty girls.

I'm taking a quick look. The body seemed to be between 18-20 years of age. Rail skinny. Could not detect any form of rump on his behind. It looked to be all bone and not much of that. A strong draft beer in a tea cup could knock him down the street.

He wasn't ugly but I can't seen anybody rushing to lock lips on him. You couldn't do it anyway. The main feature was his mouth. Damn thing would not stop moving unless he was coming up for air. 

Goofy had a half pound more meat on his frame but his main attraction is that he doesn't say much.

Anyway, Dumbstruck goes on and on and on until a woman ask him "where he is getting off the train?' He responds "MacArthur Park."

She gets up and moves to the far end of the car.

Normal people might have taken that as a clue but Dumbstruck starts to harp on her that if she didn't like what he had to say "she shoulda put on her earphones". He rags on her for about three minutes about his right of freedom of speech and then goes back to his subject of choice.

Girls.

There are ugly women. There are old women.There are pretty girls.

These can be divided into the ones that will talk with you, the ones that won't (forget them, he told Goofy) and the ones that will do stuff. His job, as he sees it, is to locate that female objectified possessive noun and do what he wants.

Not his fault if they are stupid. 

You know just typing this I want to smack him for all the girl children on the planet. 

I didn't trust myself. I would have smacked him on behalf of the decent guys too.

I tried tuning him out. I had my mediation music. I'm trying to go to my happy place but Dumbstruck's voice carried louder than I could safely turn up the volume on my media player.

My understanding is that he was heading home to get ready to go to a party or series of parties where he could find and "do something" with some liquored up young girl.

Goofy was down widdit widdit. Non-verbally speaking.

Now, maybe it is me. I haven't been around a young man in a long time.  It is one thing to brag about your imaginary skills with the ladies.

It is another to announce to captive train audience that you need to have the object of your desire incapacitated before you can get anywhere.

I don't think you can be that drunk to let Dumbstruck touch you let alone "do something"  but I don't know what the heck is going on with young folks now days.

Eggad, I've crossed over. 

All I know is that by the time the clowns got off the train I mentally turned in my imaginary cougar card. I was thinking about guys in the 30s or 40s but it would take 20 plus years to clean out the dreck in that kind of head. At that rate I'd be 75.

No. If they are making the current crop of young men that stupid, that selfish, hate based and penile directed then whomever wants that slab of bones can have him. And Goofy too.


As for me, I gotta find better headphones.

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Lusting Tempos for National Poetry Month

It is National Poetry Month. I don't have to tell regular readers what May is but stock up on the lube just in case. Replace your worn out electronics and for your podcastical dilatation you might want to visit Erotica al la Carte.



It is Friday and it has been a long day. Need something to take the blah out of it. This poem is from Victoria McColley who has a blog at www.poetryauthoress.com.

I don't have anything profound to say. I have been drained by the week and I am looking forward to the L.A. Times Festival of Books so I can walk among the words and the people that carry them.

It is a pain to hike across town but it has been a nice couple of days since the heavy rains. I need to walk this yutz out of my system. It starts with a poem.

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Programming School Dropout and Redemption

I've been avoiding telling folks this but it is time to come clean and start again. I am the beauty school dropout in Grease.



I hate quitting anything. Really, I can be guilty of hanging on for dear life until I get it done. Well, life snuck up on me and went booger-booger.

Strike 1. I was doing okay. I wrote my first program and thought my homework was done. What I failed to realize was there were a whole bunch of lessons underneath the first one. I catch that mistake two days before the first quiz and try to cram it down.

You can't do that with an intro Python programing class. I tried but it was painful.

Strike 2. My day job at the Salt Mine got crazy. I can't go into details but let me just say the widgets were asking questions of the whatsits and the whatsits were waiting on the doohickies and in the meantime salt is flowing all over the conveyer belt.

It was lunar baby, stuff was flying everywhere and all I had was a spoon.

Strike 3. I came home and tried again. I'm in Lesson two. I'm still learning vocabulary and programing at the same time. The dude shifted from vocabulary to concept and then from concept to implementation.

I was still on understanding the concepts when bango zoom he was talking about the rafinstinbonk.

It was over. I cured up in my bed, I knew I didn't have a flipping chance.

A Possibility for Redemption

A new session of the class is starting up on April 16th. I'm stubborn. I do not like not learning what I set out to learn. You don't get to be this old without picking up some life skills.

Boomer power baby!

I am gathering supportive tutorial materials:

Videos

Khan Academy has some programming videos:



I can watch or listen to these on my phone via YouTube.

Tutorials

One size does not fit all and I'm looking for re-enforcements.

• At Python.org there is a Beginner's Guide page for non-programmers to access tutorials and resources.
• There is another interactive tutorial at Learn Python.org.
• Python Turtle is for kids and those willing to think like one. There is no shame in my game. You download the software and the follow the instructions to learn concepts in order to move the turtle.
• Yes, there is a podcast for just about everything, this one is for young programmers so if I add the numbers my age I could be youngish.

What About Life?

I know. I could be setting myself up for a fall again. Salt is still shooting across the room but the flow is now in check for the time being. If I can get a better bead on the topic before the new session starts I'll sign up again.

If not, slow and steady will have to be my workflow. Monty would have wanted it that way.

(The programming language was named after Monty Python, which is nice to know but I still feel like a git.)

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Testimony - It Gets Better Video from SFGMC

Not sure I should be writing about this video. I'm not gay. I am not a male. Don't even live in San Francisco. But when did that stop anybody from putting their two cents in matters that peripherally concern them.

I do know other human beings attempt to hurt another because they are different. Too small. Too large Talk funny.

I know the power of words that can hurt, of punching used as a right of passage and the emotional pain that can be soul crushing. Ask anyone that had been bullied as a child. It does not take much to bring up the memories.They know what I am talking about.

So I am very interested in the It Gets Better video series. If it stops one teen or pre-teen from doing themselves in it works for me.



This is a video by the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus called Testimony.

It is only recently that I have slowly started talking about being bullied as a child.

It was bad.

Wait, there is no good form of being bullied.

I have since learned that other people had matches thrown on their hair or coats. Humiliated beyond measure with all kinds of stuff thrown on their bodes. And last, but not least, sanctioned shame.
Because if you tell some adults that you are indeed being victimized by a group of people most will tell you to "suck it up and get over it".

While you are standing in the middle of hell. You ask someone to help you and they are telling you to stand and continue to get burned. They say it is kid stuff. I am hear to tell you that kids can be vicious.

For me, I literally had to go ape shit crazy and beat someone up to get most of them off my back. It was a temporary solution. It wasn't in my nature but you hurt a person enough and one way or another they will find a solution.

Usually, a bad one. Suicide is a very bad solution. It doesn't matter who you are, it truly hurts those that are left behind.

I was a gentle person who learned to be defensive and non-trusting. "Suck it up" they say. The reality is that you never, ever get totally over it.

So, as a straight woman, as a person with a history that includes being bullied and as a fellow traveler on this road of life check I want to pass this video along to friends and acquaintances.

If you like the song and would like to own a legal copy then you can go to the Bandcamp page and download it. It would help the SFGMC chorus earn a little cash in the stash.

Some days are rough. Still, it gets better.

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Lessons Part 2 - Learning That We Mirror Each Other

People are nosy. I am a people, therefore, I am nosy.

I try to control it but there are times when you just have to pay attention to other people’s business. I did not want to but I really had no choice.

Every once in a while I’ll buy a burrito from Chipotle.  I was standing in line and the person ordering before me put in her order for three burritos.

Like a drill sergeant she commanded what she wanted. Sarg wanted everything. She wanted extra of everything. Except for what she did not want.

I could see trouble coming.

When it came time to fold the burrito the laws of mass and space kicked in. The tortilla ripped a gash. Food started oozing like a scene from The Blob.

The server tried to move the heaping mass to another tortilla. Sarg became irate:

“That looks like garbage. Something you would feed a pig. I’m not a pig. Start over!”

I'm looking at Sarg.

No comment.

The food was thrown away. The server started again. Sarg told the server what she wanted extra again except for what she did not want.

I don’t know how it was possible but this time the burrito was constructed. Then the whole thing had to be done for the other two burritos she ordered.

My Turn

I was hungry. Yet a sense of culinary moderation flowed from within. I modified my order:

• Carne Asada
• No Beans
• Rice
• Corn
• Pepper/Onions
• Avocado

I bring it home and eat it. All of it. I am stuffed for the next four hours.

A few days later I watch the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead about this guy’s having a fruit and vegetable juicing fast as he interviews people across the country.



I don’t make it half way though the movie without swearing I’m gonna get a juicer.

I’ve checked out the high toned ones. They are very expensive. It will be awhile. In the meantime, I’m drinking water instead of soda and eating more veggies. Truth is, I am surrounded by temptation. And boredom. And other stuff too.  I’m stripping it away step by step.

My body agrees with making some kind of change. Sarg is still on my mind. I can’t seem to let that movie go until I do something. This is the back side of being nosy.
 
So, yeah. There are times when being silently, acutely observant of other people’s behavior is kinda sorta ok.

But not really.

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Lessons We Need to Understand–Part 1

It has been a week of extremes. Excitement and disappointment. Sometimes it happens at the same time. I have facts but the interpretation of those facts I’m not sure I can do justice. I can tell you what I have seen and observed.

The ZeFrank Lessons

Once upon a time there was a web series called Le Show with ZeFrank. The two people below are not ZeFrank but part of the community at the time that participated in introducing the show. Roll that tape...


It was before Jon Stewart and Colbert and the show was a mix of whimsy, politics, audience collaboration and what ever can down the road. It lasted a year before Ze pulled the plug.

Last week Ze put out the word on Kickstarer that he wanted to resume the show and was looking for backers to fund it. He is going to, among other things, buy a new camera and hire an editor.

He asked for $50,000. Keep in mind that his show lasted only one year that ended in 2007. There were other sporadic appearances by Ze via Time Magazine and other places but folks had moved on.
As of this writing, Ze has $122,282 with four days to go in the campaign.

Ze has asked his backers what they would like to see in the new show. In full disclosure, I did chip in some cash which makes me a non-Hollywood fractional inconsequential non-power playing mogul.

• Most want him to do what he did before. Exactly the same things.
• Some want him to talk about religion.
• Others emphatically do not want him to talk about religion
• Those that want him to rip into the current political climate of yuck.
• Those that want a respite from the political climate of yuck and want him to make music or design or anything that is happening in the current world.
• And there is a fractional few that says “I trust you enough to let you go you way and see what you come up with.”

This is the creative community "put your money where your support is" type of participatory media. I keep telling folks that what we were raised up on is not how it is always going to be from this point forward.

There is events happening that we can’t continue to pretend it does not have an impact on our lives.  Like a broken record I keep saying this and I need to find a better way of communicating it or shut up.

I have it on good authority I can’t shut up.

Here is the thing. As traditional broadcasters look to restrict access to their content and at the same time create destination portals on the Internet we need to really step up independent content.
I don’t think it needs a Kickstarter campaign but you do what you got to do.  If you are good and people like what you do you will be supported.

We don’t have to be dependent on mainstream content. I’m not saying to totally give it up cuz that new Sherlock Holmes on the BBC has got a bunch of Baker Street Doxies going nuts.

I’ve moved to audio podcasting and video from non-traditional sources to replace television. I do watch traditional shows once in a while on the Internet but they do not fill my needs.

A new model is being established. ZeFrank is not the first person to do this; there are other producers who are doing the same things.We needs to pay attention.

That is all I’m saying.

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