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Friday, March 1, 2013

Text and Subtext or I'm Too Touchy

Posted on 7:56 PM by Unknown
It is March 1, 2013.  I thought I'd be relieved that Black History Month was over because pound for pound it has been one of the most difficult BHM that I have experienced in a while.

It has been a month of people behaving badly. Grinding to the last nerve kinda bad. Not enough to wish for divine intervention. But close. And I have been hurt, angered, raged up and resigned to the stupid as normal. You can't hold on to each and every bit of idiocy roiling down the road.

There are time when you need to speak up and fight back. But when you do expect to hear something like "I am to blame for being too sensitive."

What ticked me off this week?

The Bloomberg BusinessWeek cover on a new wave of speculative housing boom. The cover seems to show that Latinos and African Americans are being excessively happy at the money grab regarding housing.

Bloomberg Businessweek Cover February 25 - March 3, 2013
 
There is that old (false) meme that it was the fault of the sub-prime buyers that caused the crash. Not the corporations that sold debt paper from firm to firm. Not the feeding frenzy that had radio and television commercials on every station begging people to buy a home, no money down. Not the Ponsi activities of Bernie Madoff and other corporate con artists.

Yes, I hear you #10,384 in the comments. "It was a Latino dude that drew the picture so how could it be racist?" 

Because the actual article has nothing to do with the cover. Because the images used are stereotypical exaggerations of people of color going ding dong crazy because they have cash. And you know how we get cash, right?

It is another reminder that neo-post racists society is alive, well and prospering. What was the brief that the artist got? What does he believe about the housing crisis or is this a bad attempt to tell up happy days are here again?

Or are we invoking Greed is Good for another run around the block?

Some days I can ignore the goofy.  Like when they painted that 16-year old white model in bronze make-up and called her an African Queen. That has happened before; the fashion would really has a hard time with people of color.

Read a bit of the Black Voices Huntington Post comments. The effort to devalue legitimate objections to the paint job could be heartbreaking if you let it. I wouldn't read more than 10 of them cuz it is crazy making stuff.

There are other days I have to think about how far we've come and how to be vigilant when a justice of the Supreme Court thinks that my right to vote is a racial entitlement. This is an excerpt from Justice Scalia:

The problem here, however, is suggested by the comment I made earlier, that the initial enactment of this legislation in a -- in a time when the need for it was so much more abundantly clear was -- in the Senate, there -- it was double-digits against it. And that was only a 5-year term.
Then, it is reenacted 5 years later, again for a 5-year term. Double-digits against it in the Senate. Then it was reenacted for 7 years. Single digits against it. Then enacted for 25 years, 8 Senate votes against it. And this last enactment, not a single vote in the Senate against it. And the House is pretty much the same.
Now, I don't think that's attributable to the fact that it is so much clearer now that we need this. I think it is attributable, very likely attributable, to a phenomenon that is called perpetuation of racial entitlement. It's been written about. Whenever a society adopts racial entitlements, it is very difficult to get out of them through the normal political processes.
I don't want to be accused of taking the quote out of content. There is an office SCOTUS Transcript of the Section 5 Pre-Clearance Obligation.

Sniff, as if voters suppression didn't happen in the last few elections.

You do have to have not only a thick skin but also a discerning eye for what is being presented. There is intent, there is malfeasance and there evil.

There are also people that make mistakes. Laps of judgement. Ignorance.

There are days when you can't tell the difference.

February 2013 was like that for me.

So yeah, I'm a bit prickly.




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Posted in history, responsibility, survival | No comments

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Not Saponaceous But Read the Label

Posted on 5:27 AM by Unknown
Almost to the end of this journey. Didn't come out exactly as planned but writing and putting together the scattered parts into a cohesive piece is like that.



This is about the most asexual video you will ever see on the topic of personal lubrication. It is more of a reminder that product label type is really small. You might want to visit the vendor's web site for the ingredient list. But should you happen to go be going to the store plop in a magnifying glass or glasses.

The video is my humble attempt to explain why you may need them.



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Posted in health, midlife, reading, sex | No comments

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Not Saponaceous Choices and Considerations

Posted on 10:27 AM by Unknown
This is just an introduction type post about personal lubrication for women over a certain age. I’m not a medical professional, sex expert or a working girl.

I am a person that wants to bring attention to an important issue that is in a choke hold between those that only see lubrication as a sex tool and medical people that try to strip every sexual noun and verb out of female health and sexuality issues.

Okay, now that we are clear that there are multiple reasons to use personal lubrication, such as hormonal changes, stress, a medical issue or, as I was reminded in the drugstore, lubes designed to help with conception.

A reminder, you are adding a substance to your body. You need to be aware that just because it is on a shelf in a drugstore or supermarket it doesn’t necessarily make it a safe product for you.  

Image from 1918 Gray's Anatomy from Wikimedia

My Biases


We all have them but I want to be clear on what my filter system is about items that go into the body. I lean toward natural, non-toxic and will do no harm to the body.

I wanted to say that because some of the choices in the stores are not safe or desirable to use. I’d really rather you didn’t pay cash for chemical cooties but that is a choice you have to make.

Yeah, I know, get on with it.

What You Don’t Want In A Lube


  • Parabens – Industrial preservative.

  • Glycerin – is a form of sugar. The vagina has bacteria. Sugar + bacteria + a warm environment? For those that do not bake the short answer is yeast. If you are prone to vaginal infections you might want to use Glycerin-Free type products.

  • Petrochemicals – If any form of the ingredient can be found in a car engine, gas tank or derived from an oil refinery I’d take a pass at putting it your body.

Oil Lubes


Talk about tradition. One of the oldest forms of lubrication. I’m talking bear fat, butter, Crisco, and, ew, Petroleum Jelly. It is so much better in the now times.

You can do either natural or synthetic oils.

Natural oils can be based on nut and fruit oils such as Avocado, Almond or Olive Oil. You can raid the kitchen but in many drugstores there are oils in the hair and skincare isle that are specific formulated for massage and dry skin control. The are extremely affordable, like under $3 and contain one or two ingredients, the oil and maybe a fragrance.

There are other natural oils that you don’t necessarily want to apply to your lady bits such as Menthol, Eucalyptus, Peppermint or oils that are infused with perfume or irritants if you have sensitive skin.

Synthetic oils will be your petrochemicals such as Baby Oil, Mineral Oil, Petroleum Jelly and an alphabet soup of unpronounceable variations. Synthetic oils will be absorbed by the body and I’m not sure that you really want to ingest petroleum into your system.

The downside? You cannot use oils with Latex condoms. Oils can be runny. They can be messy.

In my opinion, oils might be better for external use on the clitoris as opposed to vaginal use.

Silicone Lubes


Silicone lubes can be formulated to have the texture and consistency users want. You apply it and it stays put. The problem is that it stays put, meaning that it could be a possible way for bacteria and infectious type matter to gain a path to your inners.

It does not quickly dissolve in water. And you can’t use silicone based sex toys with Silicone lubes, it will dissolve your investment. You have to make sure that the lube is removed from the vagina because of the risk of providing an environment for bacteria growth.

Water Based Lubes


Water lubes have water as the prominent ingredient; there is other stuff to help it gel up. If you have sensitive skin and are cautious about the other ingredients use this might be the way to go. Water lubes can dry out; a spritz of water is all you need to re-hydrate.

They are the most affordable of the three commercial types of lube but you gotta be on the look-out for the chemicals you don’t want.

Resources


A Woman’s Touch Guide on How to Choose A Lube

Good Vibrations Article on How To Choose A Lubricant

Everyday Health How to Choose A Lubricant
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Posted in aging, health, midlife, sex | No comments

Friday, February 15, 2013

Not Saponaceous A Dip in the Water

Posted on 5:55 AM by Unknown
This isn't about me showing off about what I know about lube. The point of these Saponaceous posts is to take this subject out of the medicine cabinet and into the realm of accessible information.




It seems that outside of the sex blog world there is no talk about a health product that also provides pleasure assistance. I don't want to diminish the sexual aspect of personal lubrication.

I'm not a sex educator but Shanna Katz is; in this video she talks about the use of water based lubrication products.

In the next post, I'll go into more detail about the types of lubes and best uses for each version of the product. I wanted to post this video to show that real women talk about sex products and resources.

Each one teach one.
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Posted in aging, health, midlife, sex | No comments

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Not Saponaceous Just the Facts

Posted on 5:52 AM by Unknown
So, I have been meaning to write lubrication posts for months. First, I was going to test them out. It would have been a one sided test but I was game until the blues put a damper on my desire enter the laboratory.

Which is a lousy thing to have happen. If you are deep in the blues lube cannot help you. Moisturizers can’t fix everything.

Lubrication, moisturizer, lube. The language fails me so I guess I’m gonna use all three terms. This is probably a good time to define the terms. I’m not big on euphemisms for body parts.

I can say lady bits but I’m not saying that va jay jay business. I will use grown up words like clitoris and vulva and maybe some other stuff too.




A personal lubricant can be used to restore moisture to the vagina. Yes, there are lubricants for the anus but this isn’t about the anus this is about the vagina.

Lubricants have a use beyond sex play or pleasure enhancement. It can help to relieve vaginal dryness. There is more than one kind of dryness; topical where you just need a a temporary replenishment or it could be vaginal dryness caused by a medical condition.

You’ll need to speak with a health care provider if it is a medical problem.

What Happened?


For age related vaginal dryness it is the loss of estrogen. The vaginal walls are becoming thinner. Not as much moisture is working its way down the chute.

It could be stress; and peri-menopause is indeed a stressful event. It could be depression, anxiety or a number of emotional condition.

It could also be the stuff you use; the soap you bath in, certain shower gels, or so-called hygiene products.

Or it could be a combination of things that you will have to figure out.

If your you are experiencing vagina dryness because of age because of age, peri-menopause or menopause then a topical treatment might do you just fine.
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Posted in aging, health, midlife | No comments

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Not Saponaceous 2013 The Pre-Ramble

Posted on 12:00 AM by Unknown
The day before Valentine’s Day. My understanding is that Saint Valentine was not supposed to be getting it on with the Sister down the road. Or Brother cuz I do want to be inclusive. He probably didn't. I couldn't really say, never met the man.

Spiritually or corporeally when you get it on, or get down or make with the bangity bang bang you sometimes need a bit of assistance. I have a lot of assistance.

About a year ago I noticed how much lubrication product I had in my possession. Lest you think I am having Roscoe Palmer over on Friday nights, the lube in question came from my attendance at BlogHer and other women attended conferences.

Swag can be good and good for you. Meaning it is water based and not the Silicone stuff. But I’m getting a head of the story Yes, women should stock up on non-petrochemical lube.

For the next few posts it is gonna be about lubrication. The personal type used by humans.

Which now leads me to explain the title of this post. Saponaceous means fat or greasy. Which is what most of us do not want in a personal product. Saponaceous has a wonderful mouth sound when you say it.
 

I know full well if I put lube or lubrication in the title I'm going to have visitors. And some of them are gonna be bummed out because there will be no nekkid people. Or really explicit talk.


Or I'll get invitations to certain sites with offers to hook up with certain kinds of services. Can I say no thank you in advance?

I want to tear down the information wall but I'm not a sex blogger. I write about sex sometimes because it interest me. I am still human.  I can prove it.

I smile when I think about that Zardoz photo. Hell, why deprive myself; it is my blog:



Seriously, it never gets old for me. Love those boots.

Ahem.

Real people do talk about sex and health issues. Personal lubrication is a sex AND health issue that needs to be talked about with like minded souls. Souls that experiencing the life change and are finding out that it can be uncomfortable to move or be moved.

I'm talking about walking but other movements as well.

There is a point to this, I swear. 


Peri-menopause changes your body. You are in freaking free fall and yet you are expected to carry on and pretend that everything is okie-dokie. It is not.

And when you land in Menopause then you have to learn how to deal with this new body that ain’t exactly like the old one you had before but looks like it.

There will be videos. There will be places I'll recommend to visit. There will be thoughts. Maybe a podcast recommendation or two to help inspire you to appreciate and apply auditory and tactile transmedia experiences.

Not sure about that one; I'm picky about what I put in my ears as well as my body.


I feel nervous so this must be a good thing to do.

Onward.
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Posted in aging, health, midlife, sex | No comments

Friday, February 1, 2013

Yesterday I Met A Women With Blue Tip Hair

Posted on 5:56 AM by Unknown
She had sparkle blue finger nails and blue crocs. The words came gushing out like a faucet about how she was homeless for a couple of years and now she is not.

How she picks the wrong men because they are exciting but regrets it afterwards cuz they are nuts, and have, in her much cleaned up words, small equipment. How 67 is not too old for Bestey Johnson attire.

There was a lot more but you get the drift. This is a woman with a life that is parked to the side.


I am reminded that all forms of crazy are not bad. Life is to be lived and not always suffered through.

There has got to be some fun and joy in it or damnation what is the point?

I met a Debbie Downer days earlier and there is toxicity in communicating with people like that; everything is lousy, everything is rigged, there is no hope only compliance.

Blah.

I was thinking about Madam Blue as I was going through my day at the Salt Mine. I was seeing my own constrictions of L7.

I grow tired of wearing the mask of conformity yet I'll never get tired of having a roof over my head. Not proud of myself but I understand why I am doing what I am doing.

I also keep reminding myself that I will be back in the wild, one way or another.

Transition or Jump?

It is my choice.
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Posted in changes, freedom, midlife | No comments
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