Layoffs and Musings on the Stoop

There are life events that are keeping me away from blogging. I don't like that because blogging has been good to me. Helps me stay on this side of sane. So many people are having troubles.

I know that other people's troubles can look worse than your own. In a way, that makes you feel better.

But there is a toxicity to sucking up too much bad stuff. Any bad stuff. What I can tell you is that a lot of my friends and acquaintances are losing their jobs.

My j.o.b. at the Salt mine is not looking that secure. It never was but there have been some rattlings that have me saying affirmations and gratitudes for what I have this day for I may not have it the next..

I'm not unemployed. I'm fine. No worries. Well yeah, but not that one as yet. 

I remember the last time I was long term unemployed. It was painful and dangerous. Nobody wants to live like a refuge in her own country but there is a point where you start to feel like you are not connected any more to normal life. Never in my life do I want to experience that again.

Never, ever, ever.

I remember that having fat assed politicians calling folks spoiled and lazy. Nothing has changed. You have people constantly questioning are you trying enough? Doing enough.

Some days that is a legitimate question because the last thing you want to do is face another day of not bringing home the prize. You have to find your way to your answer. At the same time trying to be open to good ideas and tuning out the less than helpful bromides that will be forced down your throat.

There are people who believe that you are on your own and you should just suck it up baby. No promises, guarantees or assistance.

To those people I say fuck you and I do not mean it in a pleasant, loving way either. You can have money in the bank and discretionary income one day and a fire, flood, windstorm or illness can take it all away. You are indeed sucking life up.

Yet some man or woman will stand on their faith or party line and tell the world you are a hippie, shiftless and not worth the time of day. I can hear their little minds going; "If only they could be like me so they would know how miserable they are."

If you are truly a so-called superior person you do not need to kick a person when they are down on his or her luck. You have the choice to help or not to help. There are times when you shouldn't provide assistance. 

But to kick and demean people on hard times? Nasty. And yes, your soul will rot in hell and I don't necessarily mean some distant place but in the core of your being where you know you are wrong.

I mention no names. Just saying. Let's stop making hate the unemployed a national sport.

Last night I was watching Liz Henry's tweets and retweets about Oakland and San Francisco Occupy protests that ended badly.

I couldn't watch people get beat again.

So for this Sunday what I have to offer is the one step, one breath at time thing.

Move forward a bit, breath.
Move forward a bit and look around that snatch another breath.
Repeat.

That is where I am. There are bigger things to worry about but the things that are close to home that call your name. That and Google Chrome keeps locking up on me.

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Go On and Catch Some Tail for Yoda's Daddy

The man put up 93 million dollars of his own money to make an all black action movie? Or an action movie with a black cast? You can say this has my attention. In a few days, the movie Red Tails will open at the box office. A gentleman by the name of Mr. George Lucas has produced a movie that is inspired by the Tuskegee Airmen of World War 2.

As a rule, I do not like war movies, shoot em up bangs bangs or glorified murder. I do like a good story. I am 110% down with encoding our history into the collective but often forgetful memory of this nation.

This is a trailer of the movie: 



Mr. Lucus is a little concerned that if folks don't turn out for the flick than will put the kibosh on future multi-million dollar movies staring black folks with white actors in minor supporting roles.

This is a clip from the daily show where he talks about how studios told him they didn't know how to market the movie or that it would not do well internationally because other countries would not want to view "limited appeal" movie.



Dear Mr. Lucas, do not fret about blowing $93 million dollars. I think it is safe to say you are going to recoup that investment in about a 10 hours of the movie's release. Not to mention that as soon as a couple dozen grandmas get wind of the movie a couple thousand junebug grandsons are going to be dragged into the theaters.

But that isn't what the movie studios where talking about, is it? They said they didn't know how to market the movie so that white folks would want to go see it. 

Understandable myopia coming from that crowd.  Need new blood in Hollywood. Those vampire and zombie movies they keep making have drained what little sense they have about modern audiences. 

People will turn out for a good movie, period.

I got my calculator out on this one:

• Living WW2 war vets of any ethnicity $$$
• Living vets of any war who appreciate military history $$$
• Every living Tuskegee graduate $$$$$
• Military historians $$$$
• People who want to see their history on the screen $$$$$$
• Loyal Fanboys and Fangirls who want to get in on the ground floor of a possible new gaming world $ x infinity.

If it is good movie and some white folks can mentally cross that bridge then yeah, whoopie and good on ya. You have a hit.

But if it isn't then it will be okay too. The world will still turn. There are black movies being made and that will happen inside and outside of the current film industry. Looks like it will be outside because even if this is a block buster they will attribute it to Lucas skills as a filmmaker and promoter and not the film or subject matter.

The stories will be told with old tech or new tech. The days of traditional film making filters is coming to an end anyway.

So take a load off G. From the looks of it I don't think it will be flop. I stopped looking toward Hollywood for quality movies a long time ago. I might make an exception for this film but have no expectation of finding a good film to pay $12 for a long time.

Now in your next film if you could do a little something that celibates the slightly older but wiser women with some curves it would be greatly appreciated. If she happened to be driving a space ship that would be very cool too.

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Broke Folks Eye Candy or Hold On A Little Longer

It is like having poison ivy on the back of you knee. I know that I have wailed about buying cheap stuff (Don't do it!) but there are exceptions.

Very limited exceptions. Before I prattle on check out this video from tech site, TheVerge.com, about another Android tablet from China.



When I was a teen I wanted with all of my heart a Nikon camera. I felt that I should have one because it was top of the line and my photos would be sooo much better if I had one. It would have meant that I was not as poor or broke as my reality dictated at the time.

I had to find a way to be connected to a community that I wanted to belong. One of the things that kept me going was reading photography magazines, the torn cover 25 cents versions that I could buy four for a dollar back in the day,

Photographers seem to do things like travel the world, eat strange food and do stuff. I was all for the doing of stuff.

I saved and earned money that eventually I bought a Yashica twin lens reflex that had a 35mm attachment so I could take 35mm snaps. I still have it.

I know my 21st century counterpart wants an iPad or a Galaxy Tab or something. He or she needs it for school, for work or creativity purposes.

This morning I found an Android draw/paint program called Sketchbook Mobile from Autodesk

If I had a craving for an tablet application like that and couldn't by a tablet that would make me obsessively crazy. Like I was about that Nikon.

Anyway, tablets from China and parts unknown are about to come in a bum rush for folks wallets.

Like the video said, the build quality isn't that good, the camera is wonky but sometimes broke folks that do their research before buying and understand that this is a training wheel  to the good stuff should consider buying something like this.

Because you don't want the itching to go away. I'm not saying buy just for the sake of wanting. That is not good and it waste money.

But the itching to know and explore, at any age should not be denied.

So I guess I'm saying if you have no money you can save up for the pride and joy hi-tone version. This would be preferred path

But if you truly can't afford to wait and you sniff out the best of the schlocky tablets then go for it. Get the best of the not so good and learn as much as you can.

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Re-invention and Change - The White Hut

I needed down time. I have gotten up at 4 a.m. to write or cobble together items of interest for my blogs and others. I want to create and do things but I was force to realize that I need x amount of sleep and nutrition.

When one or both get out of balance I am not a happy camper.There is other stuff happening that I can't discuss but that life balance thing is kicking me into submission.  I got to find writing time that does not involve the pre-dawn hours.

This is a project I've been wanting to finish for chunk of time. I want to mix essays with video. This will not look that different from my other work but my goal today was to post a video.

The Whit Hut was a mom and pop restaurant in the Pasadena area. It closed in September 2011 and word has it that a new organic coffee house will be built. I'm sure that the new joint will not be serving up fat laced Pastrami on Rye. 


Part Two

I have to step back and think about what do I want to do. I want to re-claim a bit of my creative writing. I want to really get better working with video. I need a new career but I think what I want to do hasn't been invented yet so I have to pave my own path.

Not a bad idea but it can make a person nervous. Can you re-invent yourself again and again and again?

Yes. You can. It is not easy but I'd rather give it a go than to be among the walking dead.

That is not a zombie reference.

There are people that do the same thing day in and day out because it is safe. No deviation. No curiosity about what went before or what is to come. No hobbies. No vices.  No challenges. No goals.

Nothing. They live. The eat. They work. They sleep. It is enough for them.

Now if you are in any form of recovery and you aspire to this type of life go for it. I'm not talking about you. You have already lived a bit and you need routine and stability. Carry on and work your program.

For me, I want more. I want to access the untapped parts of my potential. I can't mess around, I'm coming up on another birthday in a few months and I want something to show for it.

I thought that 2011 was going to be a quiet year and that sucker did everything in its power to prove me wrong.  I might need a combat helmet for 2012.

Right now, it is a beautiful day and I have time for a nap, if I want one.

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When A Gavel Strikes At Free Speech in Pensacola

The 1st amendment is not something to mess around with. If we lose it by excess chipping away from city, state or federal governments we are lost.

Americans have the right to stand up to our government and speak out. Lately our various elected officials seem to grow tired of citizens speech. This is the most recent example. It won't be the last.

For the record, he was allowed to come back into the chamber and make his full point.



There seems to be some question if he is a priest. I'm not sure I understand but at some point he was a Catholic priest. He then transition to the Orthodox church in 2009. He is married with two children. http://www.saintbenedictmission.com/staff.html

Anyway, it is an interesting bit of video on where we are today and in the days to come.

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There Is Still Much to Say

There was a time when 999 was the highest amount of posts you could upload on Blogger. I wasn't too worried about it because I didn't think I'd reach 999 posts. I don't think about things like that because they intimidate me.

Here I am. Number 1,000 according to my post log. Dang! I feel good about it.

I wrote long before there was blogging. Use to do an e-mail news letter. Had a old school user page that required HTML. I never warmed up to Dreamweaver but I gave it a go because I had much to say and thought my voice was as valid as some of the others on the World Wide Web.

In 2004 I came to Blogger.


In one of my early post I shared the lyrics to Sky Pilot. There was no way to easily embed video. There was no YouTube and I would not have known about this video from the CBC in Vancouver.  This is a video montage created by the CBC performed by Eric Burdon and The Animals:



I have an attacment to this song because I would hear it on the radio. I might have been between 9 and 11 years of age. I don't remember. But I didn't connected the song with the Vietnam war.

I thought of Snoopy and the Red Baron. I was a kid.  I related to the world that I knew.

This is such a different place. I now understand about the price of war on human bodies and minds. I understand that there have been other wars and some folks are now shopping for a new one to keep the military industrial corporation going.

"You'll never, never, never, reach the sky."

There was a time when I did not have my face on the blog. In 1999 had read a book about being on the Internet that talked about this guy who was making serious cash money doing web work but it got out that he was a black man.

His work dried up. At that time there were people that would attack you for being "the other."

Not much has changed. There are increasing attacks on women and feminist bloggers.

I have learned that you can't hide who you are. There are people that need to see that an African American woman has a blog. That I write about a variety of issues and concerns.

There is no point in trying to pin me down to a specific topic, not in this blog. One day it is politics, the next is noticing that Brookstone in the mall has a bunch of vibrators on sale for the holidays.

Seriously, not the cheap stuff. We are talking the upper level stroke, stroke, stroke until le petit mort kind of gear.

I get distracted. Too much is going on these days.

I bought a fountain pen. I'm going back to writing on paper first and then uploading. Has more to do with eye and hand preservation. It also has to do with allowing the words to come at a contemplative speed. I want time to think, not just react.

I don't like Facebook but I check in on friends. I like Google+ better but I don't have the time to do more than and comment on friends and followers post. There is some new widget that allows me to copy my post here to my G+ page. I might do that. Not sure.

Twitter, which I didn't initially care for, has been my day to day catch up with folks.

My blog - this is my home ground. My stoop. I know it. I'm okay here. I haven't been posting much because I got stuff going on. I have to make decisions about my life in 2012. What do I want to do? What do I need to do?

No matter what those choices are I still intend to blog. And write. Maybe a video now and then.

This blog is what made the connections with other people possible.

There are days when I get fed up with the stupidity of human beings. The American branch has plum lost their minds. Not sure they are going to get it together, it will take something awful to re-connect with each other.

It doesn't have to be that way but not sure if we can come together. Too many forces profit from keeping us apart.

So I still blog. One post at a time. I hope I remain unpredictable but who knows what changes can happen. Be open to the possible has served me well. I commit to that and the future.

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Not Writing The Prescriptive White People Letter

I have watched and listened as privileged white men tried to help the nation understand the problems and worth of poor black kids. If I am understanding correctly, which is impossible because I use to be a poor black kid, I am incapable of going to work, thinking long term and handling my responsibilities as an adult.

It seems I am unable of understanding my current and future situation in life. I did not know that I require intervention to help me move past my impoverished blackness of being. The fact that I had to use technology just to find out how incapacitated I am is beside the point.

I can't make this stuff up. This is Newt with his view on poor children. Excuse me, very poor children. Like poor needs a superlative.



Gene Marks article at Forbes understands the totality of the inequality but wants poor black kids to know that there is a way out via web apps, sites and technology.

I'm thinking Gene does not have a good grasp of the concept of being poor. There is no money. Food is dicey. You might not have a place to live. There are other concerns at the top of the list. Buying a computer is not one of them.

I have a mind to write a letter called "Dear White People..." I am motivated. These past two weeks have really lit me up to put pen to paper.

Hey, wouldn't such a letter be irresponsible? Would it be extremely biased based upon my limited understanding of the totality of the European American experience. Even thought that experience is pumped into my consciousness each and every day by media, literature and commerce.

Yet I feel compelled to try again.  I have a tremendous amount of anger at the embedded racism that is structured in this society. Not only is there embedded racism but if I, as a black woman dare call somebody out on it I get accused of playing some goddamn race card of victim-hood.

I have no race card. With the shit coming out of (some) white folks mouths these past three years I don't need any. Do you hear the ish coming out of mainstream political discourse? Against women, the LGBTQ communities or anybody that is not a white Christian male?

Yet I am suppose to give a calm, rational nuanced response some of the most noxious public thinking that has been romping around the country as political commentary.

Bullshit.

Hmm. Not really where I wanted to go with this. Still too much anger.

I want to write that I am a human being with inalienable rights provided to me by the Constitution of the United States and the 15th Amendment.

Naw, that don't get it either. Bunch of extreme constitutionalists want to revert back to the original constitution. They don't recognize my right to existence anyway.

I can't do it. If I can't write it responsibly, with accuracy, historical perspective, real life experiences and independent documentation to support my point of view then I should not do it.

I can't seem to write without wanting to toss in a couple dozen cuss words. That isn't good.

See, I know that such a letter would hurt people I love, care and respect. It would even hurt people I don't like. There is enough hurt in the world. I have no desire to add to it.

Still that isn't a good reason not to write a prescriptive letter to white people.

Yet people I know might might take offense that I am telling middle class white folks that they don't know how to raise their kids, that they are structurally defective as parents and I, being the 2nd cousin, twice removed from God, have got the scoop on how they could live their lives better if only they would listen to me.

The poor white folks are probably doing the same things as poor black folks, trying to take care of their families the best way they can in these days of denial. Denial being telling folks to get a job but that job has been exported oversees years ago.

Then again, if I am so all powerful knowing that I can solve the problems of millions of people perhaps my time could be better spent fixing the state or federal budget.

Or laying in the infrastruction of a national high speed rail line. Or full high speed Internet access for all, even in the most pastel sections of the country.

You know,  If could lay in that rail line by June then I wouldn't have to get in an airplane or spending time in TSA lines.

Change of plan. I need to attend to my areas of interests.

White folks will have to muddle through without my assistance.

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